Well thank the gods that little experiment is OVER! Joel arrived safely back into Seattle's brisk arms ever-so-early this morning. After 3 hours of sleep, he sauntered off to work this morning like the hard worker I fell in love with 10 years ago.
A few months ago, in an effort to rebalance our marriage a bit, we decided that Joel needs to start travelling more. I always go away, using our air miles and monies to visit friends and family. Last year, I lived with my sister in San Diego for 12 weeks. When people encountered me vacationing sans husband, they started in befuddlement "We are just really independent and enjoy missing each other," I would reassure them.
I was full of ignorance. Turns out, it's the one leaving that gets all the independence and freedom. When the tables turned and I was the one at home pining for Joel for the 15 days of his absence, shit got ugly. My brain messed with my being and it wasn't fun. Suddenly I found myself trying to be as social as possible, not wanting to journal or write for fear that delving into my brain without someone around to pull me out would result in something dark.
I've spent a lot of time thinking, hoping, and I daresay praying (more like a desperate pleading with the heavens) about my marriage. It was a time to write love-letters again. We are birthing into new people and though my questions about us do scare me, I am reminded that everyone has a story. We are past our introduction and heading uphill to the rising action. I'm totally fatigued, sweating, and barely recognize the path, but I am not alone and I know the denouement is ahead of us, for better or worse.
Dating: August 2001
Married: June 2011
"I don't know what the future holds but I am willing to walk into the darkness (or flames) holding your hand. I believe in you... and I believe in us. Our faith is the greatest church and our love is the most beautiful cathedral I have ever stood in." Joel Morris, October 30, 2011
Here's to knowing that we can never possibly know - and to my brute (his new nickname),
Hello mates,
Another fine weekend to report to you. Friday night I dressed up to cook Joel a lovely dinner, complete with cocktails and a kiss as he walked in the door. I made him filet mignon topped with
bearnaise sauce as planned, but also added a side dish of
cacio e pepe (my newest pasta obsession!). We supped in leisure, walked to get more wine when we had finished the one bottle, turned up my
french cafe pandora station, and generally lived well for the evening (including beginning a new show, the BBC remake of
Sherlock Holmes in modern days and it's REALLY good!).
Saturday brought my niece and sister-in-law to Washington for a visit. Olive is such a personality. She makes us all laugh so much!
Although her
Uncle Joel scares her a bit, she is getting quite used to him and his silly antics.
_______________________
Saturday night was spent at the pub celebrating Tice's 30th bday.
It was quite a riot, complete with a surprise visit from
Devon and Jason and new baby Ethan! The girls may have been just a LITTLE excited to finally meet this guy. It was a perfect summer evening...we drove home windows down,
music up (way up), and spirits too lofty for this earth. Epic, I tell you.
(Parenthetically speaking, the hangover was a bit less epic.)
Sunday we took our typical drive out to Joel's parents to celebrate Jenn's 30th bday with a day of sunshine, berry picking, eating, and laughing at Olive (also stealing the occasional kiss when she would let me).
This guy deserves a gold-metal for the amount of crazy he's put up with lately. We are talking ridiculous bouts of sobs, irrationality, and multiple-personality insanity. Joel, seriously...thank you for being man enough to be the best girlfriend I've ever had - deeply nurturing without requiring anything back (except a few kisses; he IS still man, afterall).
My lover and I keep having these "is this seriously our life?!" weekends.
We are relishing every little morsel.
Friday night, Joel told me to "dress for dinner." He then made up some delicious Cuban sandwiches, poured a nice bottle of Bordeaux, and sat me down in my Sunday best to watch all 10 hours of the Royal Wedding coverage he downloaded from the BBC. (Four days later, we aren't even through the ceremony). We took a break mid-way to step out for a delicious bit of bread pudding and nip of whiskey. Silly though it was (and rather impractical to eat a messy sandwich while dressed up), it was a very important time of connection for us both. When did adults stop playing pretend?
Saturday we decided to walk to the Farmer's Market for some produce and meat to grill. Joel has been ALL about his grill lately, and so we found a dozen fresh oysters and some lamb chops. While walking home, we ducked into a coffee shop for a quick Americano and game of Farkle (one of our newest date obsessions). After a few hours, lunch called us to the Village Sushi, just down the street.
Off to the hardware store and a quick stop for another of our
latest obsessions, fro yo!
Once home, the sunshine seduced us outside and we finally attended to the herb garden we've been trying to plant all spring. A few hours (and very stiff legs) later, we had our humble garden of cilantro, Italian parsley, mint, and chervil. While I finished up the gardening, Joel BBQ's the oysters and we enjoyed the rest of the evening with friends.
I' faith, I myself enjoyed it a bit too much, and spent the night and next day paying for it. Sunday we spent recovering from my booze intake. We drove to Joel's parents and picnicked on their lawn for a few hours, soaking up the sunshine, resting, and talking.
There are Mondays when I feel refreshed and ready to take on the tasks of the work week, but friends - I tell you, today I am wishing for an extension of my weekend something awful. What would I do, you ask? Just as Joel asswered last night when I asked him..."spend more time with you."
One of the things I've really come to appreciate about Joel is not only his unwavering work ethic (he loves hard work!), but also his ability to rest when necessary (it IS a skill to be learned). These traits do not often come packaged together in a male, and I need both from him so desperately. He's my closest friend and I still thank my lucky stars every single day for the promise of a lifetime with such a kind, intelligent, sexy, wise, and persevering soul.
Not to mention, I really like his bod.
Swoon.
Back to the grind.
