musings of a melancholic: california

Showing posts with label california. Show all posts

Oh late summer, you great bringer of things, you.

:: a second bloom of roses ::

:: fresh lemons from california ::

:: huge zucchini's and summer squash from mom's garden ::

:: a booze delivery from california ::

:: mom's late season blackberry pie from berries picked yesterday ::

:: friends home ::

Though I do not wish to spend all my days in 80 degree sunshine, I am still a California girl by birth. Right about this time of year, I can close my eyes and feel my hair whipping my face as I ride in my Mom's old '57 Chevy Station Wagon, windows down because there was no A/C. She raised four kids single-handedly for 10 years and we were rather tight on money, but she seemed to make special outings happen. I remember not only frequent trips to Disneyland, but also trips to Ventura beach. We would leave at sunrise and all sleep in the car as she drove the 45min to the seaside, then spend all day swimming and sunning. Lunches on that day, though nothing fancier than homemade PB&Js, a thermos of cold water, and nacho cheese Doritos, never tasted better. Come sunset, with sand-filled swimsuits, we would climb back into Betsy and watch the golden light on the horizon and drift off to the sound of the wind drying our hair as we drove home.

Windows Down.

Always Windows Down.

Later on as a teenager, my best friend Keri and I would take several trips, looking for trouble (we never found any, we were good girls afterall) and turning heads as much as possible, which is easy to do in a bikini while driving. Her VW Bug was my ticket to freedom, and also didn't have A/C.

Thank God.

I'm going home to Southern California this weekend to see my Teresa and Clara, and I cannot tell you how much my skin aches for a drive like this. I've requested to see my ocean.

I love your salt-water soul,

**Image

Happy Monday!

Senior Booze and I have returned from our road-trip. Thank God we rented a car, otherwise all of our loot would never have fit. Though I am unashamed to admit that I wish this was all for us, I am here to say it isn't.

Working on pictures and stories from the trip soon, stay tuned.

*photo courtesy of hubby

Enjoying your Saturday so far?

Me too, thanks for asking. I've been enjoying a veritable "Saturday" since Wednesday

while in California with old friends.

Off to the farmer's market, liquor store, and breakfasting. I realize it's almost noon, but that's what Holiday's are all about.

Well, I've returned to snowy Maple Valley after a 3 week hiatus wherein I gallivanted all along the West Coast. After spending two glorious weeks with my niece Clara (and her parents, they're pretty great too, I guess), the saint flew down to join me in driving our new car back to Seattle from San Diego. We expected horrible snow showers and icy conditions, but the weather couldn't have been better. A peaceful trip indeed.

Thankfully we have friends and family all along the way so we didn't have to make the 23-hour drive in one straight shot. We had such enjoyable times visiting people; I'm counting right now and we visited 7 homes and 30 people (12 of them kids) 6 dogs, and 4 cats.

So you can imagine that this introverted lady is soaking up the quiet familiarity of her home like the solitude-sponge she is.

After the 10-hour stint from Redding to Seattle yesterday, I arrived home sleepy and thankful. I rested in the hottest of scalding baths, lighted a candle, and ate a tortilla with butter (I often eat while in the tub, it's so luxurious!). I noticed that I was indeed spent in word count and thought-process, full well knowing that when required to extrovert myself, the fatigue manifests itself both in cerebral function and physical fatigue. It feels like I've just ran a 10-mile race.

Now I've returned and am eager to catch up with those here in my home; also knowing that I will need some time to recapture my social stamina and here's the great part about all of this that hit me while I was in the bath...

I was hit with my limits and let down into rest, knowing that I could not call or see a single soul for a few days and two good feelings took over where before those feelings would have been self-deprecating and full of toxic bile. I used to berate myself for my own limits, but in the last few years of care and growth, I noticed that I liked myself not only in spite of these frustrating limitations, but even because of them. No one can be Candace like I can. The other wonderful feeling is receiving words from friends that remind me to take my time settling in, to call only when I am ready, to reemerge on my own time. So, I shall.

And the magic keeps coming in the form of flurrying snow falling upon my country home. What perfect timing.

Perhaps tonight I shall decorate the house with my Christmas baubles...

~crm

I am quite glad that this month's challenge coincided rather nicely with my trip to visit my sister. Not only was it her birthday weekend (which is picturesque enough), but we also wanted to capture a few images of her pregnancy. I set out to take 25 images per diem, and have certainly filled that quota and then some. San Diego is a rather tempting muse (even if it's not Seattle).

A few of my favorite images:

My sister's awesome pooch, Clarence

Super woman preggo!

sisters...

I have so much to catch you all up on here at Chateau Bookling (soon to be named Bookling Manor, but more on that later).

The purpose of my most recent Redding trip was to finally be a part of my best friend Jackie's delivery of child number three. I haven't been able to be there for the other two children (missed the last one by a DAY), so I took advantage of my flexible situation and went down for the two weeks right around her due date. We were hoping that fate would be on our side so I could be a part of it.

I was due to leave on Tuesday and Levi David decided to make his appearance on Monday at 8:39am after 13 hours of labor. It was such an amazing process to behold from start to finish and made me marvel at the love and trust Jackie had placed in me to allow me to be a fly on the wall for such a vulnerable process. Though I am comfortable showing just about any emotion, pain is absolutely NOT one of them.

When Levi finally started to crown, I absolutely couldn't believe it. I had never seen a birth (not even a video), and it was just nothing like I expected. I thought I would be traumatized and never want to go through the process, but either Jackie made it look easy, or I realized that there simply couldn't be anything more natural. And then, oh the gobs and gobs of joy and release of the happiest floodgate of tears came upon me...and I cannot imagine how that would be intensified if I were seeing my child for the first time.

It's magical; divinity sure pulled a rabbit out of a hat with this one. And boy, after Levi came, it was the hardest thing in the world to get back on that plane. I have always had a serious case of baby fever (NOT parent fever, sadly), and this only made it soooo.much.worse. He's my new favorite 5 day old.

There was talk about me extending my plane ticket, but alas, the saint and I had made a huge decision right before I left for the trip, and I needed to get back to execute the plans. We have decided to move to the country. It's a rather long story, but Joel will be working from home next month and we do not have enough room in our little city-cave to accommodate the both of us here. Not only that, but in order to maintain my stay-at-homeness, we needed a cheaper place. These are the practical reasons.

The soulful reasons, and the vastly more important to me are these: We are slow-pokey souls. We want a simpler life, a quieter life, a more intentional life. In order to do this, we need to unbury ourselves from the debt of our early 20s. We need to be in the forest. We need space to spread our wings and test our courage in flight. We need to be closer to his parents.

I cannot tell you what a hard decision this was for me. Joel loves the city, but he really REALLY needs to be around his trees and hobby space. I love the city, and that's all I need (that I know of, never having lived in the country). I watch Seattle unfold my words; she is my muse. BUT, she isn't going anywhere...I just have to come to her. Plus, all of our friends are here and though I know we will all make the drive, there will be so much less of the spontaneous, no traffic, quick drinks together.

The move happens this next weekend - so this week is me packing and taking trips out there. We've already spent more time in the car this week than we probably have all year. So there you have it, we will be upgrading Chateau Bookling into Bookling Manor.

AND THE LAST BIT:

Right around my birthday, I posted a 12-month challenge blog. The first month's challenge was to stick to my budget. Well, all I'm going to say about that is that I tried really, really, really hard. And though I wasn't entirely successful, it was remarkable how just even paying acute attention to it made me spend less. August came and went and I never got to report or tell you what September's challenge was. Well, I decided that September's challenge was moving to the country.

Dears, I hope that you put goals in place as a guideline for yourselves and not a binding contract. I am learning to give myself a WHOLE lot of room in this way...even to boast to the world that "I AM RUNNING FOR 5 HOURS A DAY" and then not doing it if it turns out that it wasn't a goal I could keep, or didn't want to keep...or whatever. Needless to say, I am not the kind of person that will ever become a body-builder or have drive to accomplish something with unwavering focus, but I tell you, I AM the kind of person that can extend myself the amount of graciousness that I can extend to those I love - and that is a rare gift.

So, I took September off and decided to focus on my life instead. Funny how whether or not you make it a goal to grow and change...life does it for you.

Happy Weekend,
crm

Levi David Corn

For the last two weeks, I've enjoyed the pleasure and pain of living with children.
I've watched them, I've kissed them, I've corrected them, I've read to them,
I've played with them...
but mostly...

I've envied them.
Their innocence, their authenticity, their imagination.
Their nakedness.
Their kiddie pool.

The mountain upon which they live.

Their security, their joy.

Their stay-home mother.

Their energy.

In addition to these two wee souls,
I've also mingled with the wind; swayed with the trees; sighed at the sunset.

And more envy visited me.

I wanted their simplicity.
The special way no one sees them
unless they look with intention and patience.

I wanted their pure beauty.
I wanted to know what it feels like to trust your roots.
To never question your existence.
Or your death.
To have everything decided for you.