shrouded in should
i really wish i would have grabbed my copy of Sylvia Plath's journals from my nightstand.
like i intended to
(by putting my cell phone on top of it)
which usually work - the visual ques i set up around me.
but not today, i guess.
oh no, not today again.
oh no, not today again.
(but oh man, i was very inspired and excited to share with you her amazing words from an entry i read last night. that, and i circled three words i was going to look up.
shoot.
damned it all to hell.)
shoot.
damned it all to hell.)
moi, aujourd'hui:
full of churning acid in my estomago.
a highened sense of hyper-sensitivity and
a rebellion agianst others telling me to share.
share, like i know i should
i hate should.
"suck it, should!"
full of churning acid in my estomago.
a highened sense of hyper-sensitivity and
a rebellion agianst others telling me to share.
share, like i know i should
i hate should.
"suck it, should!"
i should NOT want to have my controlling sausage-fingers on everything.
but i do.
i should NOT be so easily irritated at the irascibility of 66-year old cranky that i work with.
but i am.
but i am.
i should not be so sensitive
or feel that there is not enough love to go around.
or feel that there is not enough love to go around.
but in moments of weakness,
how i utterly forget.
how i utterly forget.
i should be working on this damned spreadsheet.
but i hate it.
i should be happier with myself.
but i get to share this vice with all of womankind.
how boring.
turns out i am just like everyone else.
no beautiful or unique snowflake after all.
no beautiful or unique snowflake after all.
quelle tragique
Don't you just long to spend your day in Booklings? I sure do. I dream of wandering into work around 9am - wearing something I put together in my melancholic-chic way: (something like this, perchance?)
I am sitting down to the mahagony, exchanging subdued morning hushes with Benjamin as he opens the bar...sipping earl grey and nibbling a scone for breakfast. I would then wander into my incredibly well-lit office (lighted is not the correct verb here) and sit at my antique desk to script a letter. Around 10am, the quirky and eccentric staff begin to arrive - including my spouse with our dog and/or child...whichever the cuter. The store buzzes with the beginnings of the day, accompanied joyously by the happy electronic sounds of The Junior Boys or, on rainy days - Air.
I am sitting down to the mahagony, exchanging subdued morning hushes with Benjamin as he opens the bar...sipping earl grey and nibbling a scone for breakfast. I would then wander into my incredibly well-lit office (lighted is not the correct verb here) and sit at my antique desk to script a letter. Around 10am, the quirky and eccentric staff begin to arrive - including my spouse with our dog and/or child...whichever the cuter. The store buzzes with the beginnings of the day, accompanied joyously by the happy electronic sounds of The Junior Boys or, on rainy days - Air. REALITY
thank the lord for sisters who come to meet you downtown and break you from the monotony and stress of your crabby boss; thank the lord for the promise of an evening meal with friends you consider family; thank the lord for grapes.
tell me, friends.
if you walked into booklings
heard the bell ringing with entrance...
where would you go?
what would you do?
come muse with me today.
if for no other reason than
you really should.
~mme. bookling
future owner of literary libations sold at BOOKLINGS.
19 comments:
Well I suppose I could wander in with our D O G and pour myself a nice big beer (fie to your "should" not drink before 9am rule!)...
dog it is.
what kind of dog?! OOOH. Can he/she wear a sweater?!
can we have two?
pinch pinch.
p.s. I have no such rules. I am rule free...:)
I'm not quite quirky or eccentric, but I want to be one of your staff who wanders in around 10am. Maybe one of your quirky and eccentric staff members could then have a go at my hair. I've always had issues with my hair. While this was being done, I would be drinking my Lucky Irish Breakfast tea (bit of milk, one sugar please) while reading Jane Austen. My hair would end up looking glorious. I'm assuming there will be hardwood floors... so assuming that, I would like to wear warm fuzzy socks every other work day. Can you imagine shelving books while sliding about with beauteous hair? I can.
I reject your comment that you are not a beautiful snowflake. Yes, you are, Candi, and we all know it. Maybe it's time you knew it, too.
I came home "early" (not really) from work and I'm losing myself in Little Women. Such a girly indulgence!
M!
oh yes, yes, yes, I can imagine it. I LOVE the idea of coming to work and having someone else do my hair. It should be a morning ritual among the employees of Bookling! LOVE IT.
Oh... and I completely concur about the snowflake and music choice.
What rubbish and how divine!
(concur with dos dunlaps that is about the snowflake that is... sheesh)
Dearest Perfectly and Uniquely Formed Droplet of Water in Solid State:
I'd probably like to arrive at the shop as early as possible in the hopes that most of my shift (I'm your employee remember) would be people free.
***Though I am an extrovert, I generally am greatly annoyed by most people all the time. Depending on the day...but mostly always.***
Is that true? I don't know. I don't friggen know.
I would water the plants in the shop and idle over the orchid planters in the front window ( I have a name for each specific plant). With the plant tending complete I would most likely tear down any of the old band posters on the cork board by the front door EXCEPT for the Great Lake Swimmers poster. Though they played two weeks ago, I really would dig the design on their bill so I would let it stay up for another week or so before taking it down and popping it in my purse.
The rest of my shift I would spend pretending to work but actually reading the Cosmic Trilogy (Clive Staples Lewis) or the Dune series and looking really annoyed whenever someone interrupted me in order to ask for help or to purchase something.
I probably wouldn't be the best employee (I really only work well for myself. Period.) but I would have awesome outfits and fantastic looking hair every single day and in MY world, that's a girl worth hiring. I hope you are going to be ok with paying me to hang out.
Toodaloo!
Jillian does fashion a great do. I became quite spoilt in Europe and have never recovered.
Aw.
Shucks.
karen-
you adorable prego! i wasn't being self-desparaging as much as quoting Fight Club...yeah, i think i am fabulous. Self-hate is so five years ago, anyway.
I LOVE YOU.
M - you are such a jem...
JSL - you are hired. I love that kind of customer service - I am going for snobbish bookstore anyway! I love that you said Dune. Turns out you are probably Joel's dream girl. I need to re-read the Lewis trilogy...
beaucoup des favorites:
1. "a highened sense of hyper-sensitivity and a rebellion agianst others telling me to share."
2. "suck it, should!"
3. irascible cranky ass
4. the imperious look on your face as you deign to work on the damned spreadsheet
5. jsl's comment! she is really one of the best commentors around.
i have to say...in some of your visceral/dreamy feminine struggles you ARE like other women...however, really you seem not to be like many other women i've encountered (we're talking a SMALL handful of pretties).
je suis completement serieuse.
so, drink deeply of your precious rarity today, feel its shimmer spread to the tips of your fingers and toes, and know that wherever you go, you're trailing priceless crm-ness that no one else could come close to reproducing.
love,
she.
KJK:
"trailing priceless crm-ness"
...Like hansel and gretel and their deliciousnessly tasty ginger crumbs (I know it was bread crumbs...I just like the term "ginger" better in this situation). We're all finding our way home by following and gleaning pieces of you.
Lewis trilogy, definitely need to read again with John (he's never read it!). Dune, I've never read it but it's been on my list forever and ever, it's my Dad's favorite book.
Thinking of you at your desk while I'm at my desk.
Because I am not hireable... I would come in, school books in hand (home from grad school on a short visit). I too would come early, early enough to drink coffee with my brother before he got too busy with your lovely customers. I would stop and chat with you about the development of modernist literature and how it has played into the current work and play mentality of global society. Then I would skip off to the back corner, a favorite at-home study spot (picking up some Evelyn Waugh on the way) and pretend to study.
Mostly (I almost never do this, but today I will) because I would be home from Grad school, relishing the gloomy Seattle Autumn (of course it would always be Autumn at Booklings), I would have to be wearing a lovely cord skirt (mustard yellow.. see JCREW's fall line) and great boots (to keep out the rain), and mostly a lovely navy something on top to keep warm. The hair would be curly and luscious in honor of being home.
I cannot wait to meet the booklings... and the DOG(s)!
kjk- oh i love it. and i DID take a deep breath and reach into my soul to find that rarity. i feel it, and embrace it. thank you for being such a mirror for me lately. i needed it.
sorry to be crass, but trailing my crm-ness reminds me of the first story in Palanuik's Haunted, have you read it? It's so gross...but that comment is funny in light of it.
M - you are at your desk? whacha doin? Joel hasn't ever read the triology either. I wish we could get together for readings.
B-"I would stop and chat with you about the development of modernist literature and how it has played into the current work and play mentality of global society." Oh dear me, yes...YES! Our casual conversation. :) (j'adore). Also I cannot say it enough - I really love your curly hair. It's like your wild soul coming out to play with those who have been tragically tamed.
Is that really where you work? How in heaven's name do you maintain such a colourful vibrant personality in the face of such beigeness? You are a marvel.
Well, boss, I'm considering buying a couple of cases of that quaint garage wine from Asisi we found on our last Italian excursion. I know we already have 23 great wines on our list, but I can't get that currant, lavender taste out of my mouth. It's a sign.
This espresso is delicious Benj, thank you my love.
Also, I thought we could pair Joel's scotch with segments from Paradise Lost-Book i for next week's reading. Nothing like taking a bite out of Satan and feeling the burn all the way down.
**Of Man’s first disobedience, and the fruit
Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste
Brought death into the world, and all our woe.**
Also, Tice called, he's finishing the Japan tour at the end of the month and wants to give an exclusive performance here. He mentioned something about Goldfrapp making an appearance!
Well, I'm off to Woodenville to check out that property we were looking at for the promotional author parties. Thomas Moore comes by so often we might have to prepare a room for him permanently.
jess! ha ha! I LOVE THIS COMMENT FOREVER. :)
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