because sometimes i use my blog ill

September 12, 2008 candacemorris 10 Comments

1. bromeliads or silk plans
2. diane von furstenburg silk dress (in a size you never thought possible) that you cannot possibly afford though it's only $50!
3. blogs as forums for political discussion
4. crooked, irreparable (because the manufacturer f'ed up) bra straps
5. fruit flies. (actual fruit flies! side story here. kelly's beautiful new gay friends just informed her of that a woman who loves gay men are not fag hags (who are actually women who want to "convert" gay men with their, um, sexual wiles...) but are now affectionately termed "fruit flies.") Seattle is infested with fruit flies (the actual BUG) and i am going a wee bit mad in my kitchen.
6. my kitchen....(joel has a plan to fix, we shall see).
7. people who are blissfully oblivious and chronically, substantially late...and who rely solely on others to take care of their own needs when they are completely capable.
8. non-fat cottage cheese
9. well-hung plants and husbands who hang them so lovingly. :)
10. negoiating to work only 4 days/week and realizing that although it's a 20% pay cut, that i have infact, grabbed my life by the proverbial "parts" and told it that i will not be dictated by a paycheck.
11. effortlessly fabulous (umber) and melancholy chic (me).

le SMIRK (list)

1. NEW PURSE. I found it at Buffalo Exchange, and it's this gorgeous olive green Isabella Fiore purse that retails at $500 - and I got for $120! I have never had such a bag, and I feel so smart and chic with it. It's big enough to fit my life in, but not big enough to fit my closet in - like the previous back-breaker luggage I used to call a purse. It's the perfect color for fall, and look at those leather pine cones! How eccentric and surprising!
   
   
   
2. Because I sold some clothing, I was able to buy a lovely new silk dress for tonight's viewing of Phantom of the Opera! I love consignment.
3. Phantom of the Opera with my Clarks.
4. Walking to Phantom of the Opera because it's less than a mile from my front door.
5. I have discovered espresso again. I have felt pretty great because of that double-tall, nonfat, dry cappuccino i imbibed an hour ago.
6. A general feeling of contentment in relationships. I feel more and more less and less inclined to take everyone's emotions upon myself and have manged to convince myself (this week at least) that I am not responsible for how people feel about me, how I spend my time, or how I live my life. I feel released and this feels almost magical. I sometimes realize that it sounds self-aggrandizing to admit my God-complex...this incessant need to fix every problem people bring before me...like "isn't it sad, I am so selfless." And the truth is, just to clarify, the desire to always be needed is a rather selfish desire in me. I feel like thinking I am what everyone needs is really a misunderstanding of myself and people. So do not think that my savior-complex is virtuous or that I am in any possible way attached to this. Moral of the story: I will nurture who I can and refuse to berate or unhealthily intertwine myself with those whom I cannot. Simply put...it's okay and really necessary to say no confidently and not try to control what others will think.
7. Knowing myself. I believe that the more and more I seek to know myself, the more and more I fight the internal isolation that presses upon me. If I continue to believe that I am freak of nature for various eccentricities in my personality, I will continue to isolate myself so as not to confront the differences in others that aggravate these eccentricities. But if instead, I seek to fully understand myself, I find that I am much like many humans who have walked this earth. Knowing myself gives me the confidence and fortitude to reach out and know others without fear of loosing myself in them. Knowing myself is the ultimate boundary to a successful relationships with others.
8. Realizing that for the first time in my life, I have relationships with some females that I am actually sad to think about leaving behind.
9. Fiercely intelligent women who have befriended me and will defend my cause more readily than I. Also, I learn new words from them daily. Por ejemplo - cloyingly: distastefully excessive or overly sweet.

Okay now on to my to-do list.
Poor blog. Oh the mistreatment!

• Buy tights for this evening's (walking to Nordstrom's at lunch...:) )
• Dishes
• Mop Floor
• Laundry - including towels, sheets, shower curtain, and bath mat
• Scour bathroom
• Grand reorganizing of kitchen (which will include moving of refrig and an instertion of more counter space via butcher block)
• Balancing of checkbook and budget/pay bills
• Vacuum
• Go to wine tasting open house
• Have a date with joel
• Go to the fair on Sunday w/ Ben and Jess
• Take pictures of all of the above
• Look up the etomological history of the word cocktail (isn't that so fascinating?!)

~stretching to see what i can see,
crm
p.s. if i don't get to see you this weekend, know this. i really love you. this means YOU.