Self-Care Challenge Day Seven

May 31, 2009 Candace Morris 2 Comments

Day Seven: Bought myself a bouquet of flowers from the farmers market AND picked flowers in my mother's garden.

The oversized poppies,
The fragrant lilacs,
The happy scotch broom,
The innocent buttercups,
The potential peony,
The overlooked rhododendron,
The melancholy fuchsia.

They say, "It's okay to feel this way."
And I listen.

~c.morris

2 comments:

Self-Care Challenge Day Six

May 30, 2009 Candace Morris 2 Comments

Morning writing in the breeze.
Omelets and 3 mile walks.
Afternoon reading of Plath.
Baking of chicken tenders.
Lounging and watching.
Trips to Fry's and a new laptop.
Sorting and cleaning of clothing.
Shared Indian food and meeting Rinky.
Kettle One martini with a twist.
Another Kettle One martini with a twist.
Vodka-injected watermelon.
Bed.

Day Six: Choose your own adventure

Only one more day and we're back to treating ourselves ill.

~c.morris

2 comments:

Self-Care Challenge Day Five and BIG NEWS IN MY WRITING CAREER

May 29, 2009 Candace Morris 11 Comments

Oh fabulous, fabulous Friday. Today I woke up feeling so much better than yesterday. I had successfully confronted a small part of my journey and awoke with anticipation at my lunch with friends and my previously-scheduled facial.

Day Five: Lunch with gals and facial

But there was much more to this momentous day in my personal history. This morning, before I left for lunch, I was sitting at my computer with my coffee when all of a sudden and email pops up from the editor of Antler Magazine(which is a totally wonderful publication in the style of fashion magazine, but featuring artists of every sort). I had sent her a little "look at my blogs" email quite a few months ago, but today I got a positive response back AND, ANNNNDDDD a request to write a few articles!!!!!



I could hardly contain myself. I hadn't been that high on adrenaline since, well...ever really. As I replied to the editor, I realized that this may actually be happening for me. Writing for a living, or writing professionally, or writing at all and being able to put it out there is in every regard a dream come true. Even if I totally botch up the article* and nothing comes from it, I will never forget this day and will always consider it a success!

It feels UNREAL!

So I feel totally pampered in a very real way today. It feels like if this writing thing could be real, then my being laid off in February and the fight for this new lifestyle of staying at home and pursuing my soul's interests will have all made more sense to me. To have the luxury to attend to your soul AND meet success there, shoot...that is the ULTIMATE self-care in my book.

How's your pampering going? Remember, this challenge extends through the weekend until Monday, so keep it up!

~crm

*She mentioned doing an article on the top 5 older (i think she means 'classics') books that readers need to read. I think I'll be okay...:)

11 comments:

Self-Care Challenge Day Four

May 28, 2009 Candace Morris 5 Comments

Oh wicked Thursday. I had planned an entire day for myself complete with leisurely morning, fabulous lunch date, movie, evening alone. I still did all of these things, but dears, today I did them with the heavy burden of my life-long friend, Insecurity.

She woke up with me and said some unkind words. These words they hurt my feelings.

Perfect. Now my own feelings are hurting my feelings.

The saint had his weekly brewther's night at his parents, so I have from 8am until 10pm alone. I decided to execute the plan even though I felt like crawling into a bottle of french red wine for the next 12 hours. What else could woo my woundedness out of my being like a luxurious day out? Also, it was freaking gorgeous here today and my new dress needed walking.

But I couldn't ditch her. Every time I turned a beautiful downtown corner, she was there. Every time I ran ahead and thought I had lost her, there she was. Every time I took a sip of champagne, she stared at me blankly from across the table.


By all definition, I had a fabulous day. Correction: I DID a fabulous day. I donned my strapless dress (don't tell joel, he hates them) and tennis shoes, plugged in my Depeche Mode, and sauntered out to a new-to-me French bistro downtown. I sat outside after braving the "table for one?" question THREE times (the hostess/water girl/server) during the lunch rush, and enjoyed every second of it. Champagne? Yes. Baguette? But of course. Artichoke lentil soup? Naturally. Profiteroles? I suppose I must. Espresso? Well, shoot.

I then wandered around the market with my film SLR and shot away...and in that small vacuum of time, I forgot that it had a nasty little bite in my heart that kept scratching.

I wandered up Pike to see a chic-flick. I was the ONLY one in the theatre. Typically I would find this funny and a bit ironic, but not today. I needed not to be alone there...apparently the gods heard and sent in two girls to sit behind me and watch my back against theater rapists. Because they totally exist. I got my girl-fix of tears and headed home in the breezy late-afternoon.

Two chili-cheese corn dogs later (sigh), I am sitting here with a long night ahead of me and wondering how much money I will have to spend to pamper myself out of this insecurity and actually FEEL pampered today.

And that's the thing. I should seriously know better than to avoid my soul like that. After I scrubbed the kitchen without even knowing it, I realize that I was thinking about a very long time ago in grade school when I was ditched by everyone (don't feel pity for me, I did it right back), and then even further back to a big man getting in his car and driving down the street. And these are the scenes that replay when I turn to face my insecurity. They hurt a bit too much. This is why I usually ignore it, deny it a voice, abuse it, etc.

What's the alternative? I could continue doing this and live with the guilt of my reaction to it, which is to say, think, or do something wicked to someone else whenever I feel insecure...so as to restore the balance. I'm not great at that first strike, but I can strike back with cobra-like vehemence. However, I am really, really tired of making a smeary, toxic muck of people I love and convincing myself that it was their own misunderstanding.

I would like to be that femme fatal who turns around, runs towards her predator with double-fisted guns blazing, and looks really hot in a muddy tank top and shorts in the process.

Unfortunately, I am the chubby little 2-year old with tear-stained red cheeks who is left behind and who never wants to feel that way again. But it is becoming apparent from the scratches left behind by my soul that I must turn around and find courage to face it. Though I cannot take big girl steps and look fabulous doing it, I can take steps the size of a child.

I think it's called baby-steps.
And this baby needs a drink.


Day Four: Lesson learned.
Outward indulgences cannot penetrate the soul without inward kindness.



crm


Don't ask me for a favor
Don't ask me for a plea
I'll only do your bidding
If you stop cajoling me

But I'll cry, cry, cry like the best
Cry, cry, cry like the rest
Don't ask me to forgive you
I'm not so kindly blessed

Frustrating as it seems
You're not the first today
Excuse me for my needs
There is no other way

So I'll cry, cry, cry like the best
Cry, cry, cry like the rest
Don't ask me to forgive you
I'm not so kindly blessed
Don't ask me to forgive you
I'm not so kindly blessed

-Low

5 comments:

Self-Care Challenge Day Three

May 27, 2009 Candace Morris 5 Comments

It's getting harder to fit in the self-pampering, isn't it? As the week wears on, I find myself busier and if I have not planned indulgence, it will never happen.

Or will it?

I was thinking today that another benefit of this self-care challenge is that even if we cannot fit something seriously indulgent into the day, we start to come to awareness of how we have managed to care for ourselves already without even knowing it. The not knowing can become problematic because if we are not cognating on how we treat ourselves, we are apt to either grossly abuse or overly-indulge. For instance, today I had a cupcake with one of my tutee's as her 16th bday present, and now I am ready to pamper myself with another dessert. In the long run (and especially since I have spent since June of 07 working my ass off to loose 20 lbs), this is not pampering. If I had decided earlier in the day that the cupcake was my indulgence, I would have slowed down, savored each bite, moaned, relaxed, and enjoyed it fully. There are ways we think we are caring for ourselves that are sometimes the very opposite (doing yoga tonight instead of dessert) is what will translate into my subconscious as self-care. "Your body is the carrier of this beautiful soul...it deserves to feel good too."

For you? Hell, it may be having another cupcake. But at least a new part of the battle is illuminated...thinking about how and what truly feeds your soul.

Though I hadn't planned for today's self-care to be drinks with my soul-friend Ben, I realize now that I will be happy the rest of the night, fulfilled, satisfied in his company and in me allowing myself that leisure time connecting to a friend with whom I will grow old.

Day Three: German Pub with Ben

Is it getting harder for you?

Tootles,
crm

5 comments:

Self-Care Challenge Day Two

May 26, 2009 Candace Morris 1 Comments

Bonsoir! I am already feeling the beauteous effects of this week's challenge. I have received notifications, blog entries, and emails from those I love as to their participation in the challenge, and I must say there is no lovelier woman than a woman who takes such care of herself.

Day Two: Spend the morning hours reading, writing, and daydreaming.

I really do live such a lovely life right now. I am free to do with my time as I will, but I notice that even in that freedom, I rarely intention myself towards activities that bring me deep and lasting tranquility. For instance, I usually spend the mornings at my computer with my tea and toast, catching up on my design blogs, writing my own blogs, reading news, and catching up on emails. I do so receive much pleasure out of this routine, but I do not feel fed by it throughout the day. Instead of this routine, today I sat in the morning light, wrapped in robe, and just daydreamed. It was nothing deep or serious, even my journal writing was simple, quiet, contemplative...not common of my late-night writing. I even daydreamed a list of ways that would fill my reservoir of self-care more lastingly, which was so indulgent in itself! This moment of sheer indulgence has accompanied me throughout the day, given me an oxygen tank of calming breath, and made the very loveliness beam through my eyes and skin (I can feel it!).

I thought perhaps I could share the list with you all in an attempt to strike your own imagination towards self-care, some of which I have planned to do this week.
  • Take the time to make all your belated appointments: annual eye exam, dentist, have your moles checked at the dermatologist. Take time and set aside funds for the upkeep of your physical body.
  • Cook a meal just for you with your favorites in mind.
  • Replace your too-old eyeshadow or mascara.
  • Take yourself on a lunch date complete with champagne and dessert.
  • Buy a bottle of wine you would normally consider too expensive or too fine.
  • Rewatch one of your favorite old movies with glass of aforementioned wine.
  • Catch up on your magazines while soaking in a tub or sipping coffee at a cafe.
  • Spend an hour in a bookstore browsing lazily.
  • Revisit some old textbooks or lecture notes while sitting in a library.
  • Get a free makeover at a makeup counter.
  • Splurge on a facial or indulge in a night of self-spa.
  • Attend a local play.
  • Order the lobster.
  • Write a long letter to your mother or husband.
  • Sit and look at old photos of college or your children as babies.
  • Take yourself to a nice store and try on clothes you could never afford. I love to do this at Betsey Johnson.

Just some ideas...

I have noticed as well that one must know oneself to know what one requires for comfort. For instance, I know that certain amounts of solitude are necessary for my soul-care though tempered with a balance of social play. It may be that interaction and people are necessary for your self-care, so call up your friend and make a cocktail date. The key this week is YOU. What feeds your soul?

How did everyone do with day two?

Sincerely,
candace ruth

1 comments:

Post Vacation Glow AND Self-Care Challenge: Day One

May 25, 2009 Candace Morris 11 Comments

Fellows and Femmes,
Happy Memorial Day. It is so strange, but we have had just the most amazing weather all weekend here in Seattle, and despite a few new sunburned places (hey, cut me some slack, I'm unaccustomed to responsible sunscreen slathering), I feel thankful for such beautiful weather indeed. It also feels strange when the reality of holiday weekend performs as you have always idealized said holiday weekend. We ate so well, drank hard, laughed even harder, and tried new things. I don't usually come home from a place wishing to go back, but I soo want to go back.

From Memorial Day Weekend 2009

Today, Joel and I returned from the beach cabin owned by our friends Jason and Devon. After a very early morning cruise back to the marina and a filling and long breakfast (apparently all of Seattle decided to go out for brunch today), Joel and I came home utterly spent from all the sun, fun, food and alcohol. It's a hard life.

From Memorial Day Weekend 2009


From Memorial Day Weekend 2009


From Memorial Day Weekend 2009

From Memorial Day Weekend 2009


From Memorial Day Weekend 2009


From Memorial Day Weekend 2009


From Memorial Day Weekend 2009


See it all here...
Memorial Day Weekend 2009

_____________________________

Today is Day One of the Self-Care Challenge I proposed last week. The goal is to PLAN and EXECUTE 1 moment of your day towards pampering and self-care. I make no claim that everyone's means of caring for themselves will look alike; some may run a few miles and feel pampered, others may take a long nap. Don't fit your soul into any supposed box of care, and listen to what feels best in the mood. Shoot, even actually writing "pamper myself" on your to-do list counts! I hope you participate, let me know here or on your blog or email. If you need inspiration, check out the original and colorful Umberdove's entry here! As far as my entry for today:

Day One Indulgence: Long Nap with Joel and cat

Looking forward to Day Two,
crm

11 comments:

Lists: A beach weekend

May 22, 2009 Candace Morris 5 Comments

I am brimming with travel anticipation! Our friends have a lovely boat and cabin on a remote island in the Puget Sound (Hat Island) and we will be spending a few days there this weekend. I would have been happy with gray skies, but Seattle has seen fit to give us 70degrees and sunny! I am so excited that I am writing this post BEFORE I eat breakfast, which almost never happens.

Before I toss myself into the shower to run up to the store for some last minute items, I wanted to ask some questions about a beach weekend. As I was trying to get myself to sleep last night, I was thinking about things I simply cannot leave behind when I leave for a beachy weekend - especially a weekend that I KNOW I will be encountering amounts of bliss, ocean*, and mimosas.

Here's my list:
  1. BIG old 30s beach hat that my sister bought me for my 30th bday last year. I keeps the sun off like nothing else!
  2. Journal.
  3. Camera.
  4. Plath's Journals. They ALWAYS get me writing (which explains why I cannot get through it. I read for 10 minutes and my hand is burning to write).
  5. Dresses, Sarong, and Flippy Flops.
  6. Music.
So what's your list of necessaries when you go away for a weekend with your soul?

candace ruth


*i have this thing about the ocean. i know a lot of people do, so i probably don't have to explain it. The ocean is like a huge calming blanket that shushes my anxiety and brings rich pensive thoughts. I am changed when the water and I look at each other. if i ever moved anywhere to write, it would be a beach-town. just like sylvia and ted.

5 comments:

To take care of yourself: The proposition

May 21, 2009 Candace Morris 10 Comments

I've been noticing it more than ever lately,
seeing it rear its ugly head in
negative internal words
desire to control
over-working
anxious insecurity
self-deflation

And women tend to be the worst.

I'm talking about taking care of yourself.


Why is it that we are so quick to reassure our friends of their talents, beauty, sexiness, and intuition than we are to our own selves? Throughout the last three years of my own journey to take care of my soul, I've noticed that I am a much better friend to others than to myself. This has been noticed and I've put effort into telling myself to be kind to me, to say what I would say to someone I really loved.

And isn't that the key? A true, spiritual, humble, brilliant self-love? Christians hate this word...as if loving ourselves were akin to blaspheme. I must confess that since starting this journey, my relationship with the divine has been at peace entirely. He, like a real father, couldn't be more happy to see me being ME in all confidence and beauty, since that is after all exactly what I was created for.

Devon brought up a question last night. She mentioned not knowing what she would say if God asked her "What have you done for me." As I was washing my face for bed, I thought that I would say, "I have been the Candace you created me to be." I can imagine no other answer that would bring such joy to him.

If I couldn't answer, I would put my friends, sisters, family, and students in front of God to speak for what I had done. After all, they are better at showing us off than we our ourselves.

So to these thoughts, I make a proposition of all who want to participate. For one week, I will be keeping a list of ONE thing I did for ME that day. It can be absolutely anything as long as for 1 moment in the day, you feel fabulous and pampered. I will post my daily pampering here, and hope that you will do the same in the comments or on your own blog. If you aren't comfortable sharing publicly, shoot me an email. I plan to start Monday, May 25. At the end of the week, I will compile a list of each day so we can all look back, STUDY, and learn.

I am hoping that this community will not only give us good ideas on pampering in simple, daily ways, but will also give us fuel to fight in the battle to care for yourself.

Fight for me, and I'll fight for you.
Maybe eventually we'll learn from each other,
crm

10 comments:

Welcome Back.

May 19, 2009 Candace Morris 5 Comments

Joel and I have returned safely to gorgeous Seattle. Since we spent most of the time nauseated from the heat in Southern California (despite being born and raised in such temperatures), we were so very happy to return to a beautiful blanket of light gray, slight off-shore breezes, and the lightest of spring rain. It may sound crazy to some, but we couldn't be happier with our decision to stay in Seattle and to return to it after vacations.

Our little holiday was very relaxing. We flew into Long Beach, where my dear old friend Karen and her newest addition, Delaney, greeted us with hugs and kisses. We headed back to their lovely historic home in Riverside, and spent the next few days doing exactly as we had planned: a whole lot of nothing. We enjoyed it so!

From Dunlap Visit May 2009



Dunlap Visit May 2009


They drove us then to Fallbrook, CA to meet up halfway with my bro and sister, with whom we were spending the rest of our time in San Diego, CA. San Diego was much cooler than Riverside, but still was a bit too hot for Joel and I. We opted to spend most of the time on my sister's patio, relaxing, drinking beer, laughing, and celebrating my bro-in-law's Scott's bday at an amazing lounge in SD, The Starlight. It was gorgeous and a very fun night.

From Goodrich Visit May 2009


We were also told that day of my sister's 12 week old pregnancy!! WHAT UTTER BLISS IS MINE! I was so surprised and happy that my tears were uncontrollable. I was also able to go to an ultrasound appointment with her, which was a luxury that living apart does not usually afford. I could not be happier at the expectation of another niece or nephew.

Goodrich Visit May 2009


a happy auntie,
crm

5 comments:

Guest Blogger Revealed...

May 15, 2009 Candace Morris 2 Comments

happy weekend, birdies. this is one happy girl reporting from sunny (and smogggy) southern california, having got my fix of In-N-Out and babies. the dunlaps (which is the first leg of my trip) have treated the saint and i well - taking us on walks, feeding us amazing mexican food, making us giggle with sheer delight and loving us as only the oldest of friends can.

i will be out of town until Monday, but to keep you voracious readers happy, i have a guest blogger all lined up. this blogger is funny, artsy, loves martinis and cats, and enjoys corndogs and cherry garcia.

so who is this amazing blogger? 





any volunteers?









i'm serious.



tata,
crm


(sorry for the inferiority of this post.  it could be construed as this macs fault as i had to borrow it. PCs FOREVER biatch. :) )

2 comments:

Namaste

May 13, 2009 Candace Morris 5 Comments

good morning.
i realize it is noon, but i have the beginnings of a horrible head cold, and i made myself sleep until 11:30. granted, it was not hard, so there was not a lot of self-discipline involved...but at least being sick is an excuse for 9.5hrs of sleep right?

Because of these hours and aforementioned premonition of illness, I am stiffer than a board. I decided to greet the morning with Mr. Rodney Yee in his a.m. yoga videos. You may laugh at my bed head. But only once. Begin.

<span class=
Okay, now stop laughing.


I have so much house work to do today. Tomorrow, the saint and i head out to the land of ungodly sun (southern california) and will try to keep our sensitive seattle eyes from burning off (note to self: buy sunglasses). We will be visiting friends and family and enjoying some much needed stress-free vacationing. I am hoping for a few trips to In-N-Out myself - though the saint could care less for it. (To cheeseburger or not to cheeseburger is a point of debate in our discussion-rich marriage. He hates cheeseburgers - it's really unnatural. ;) )

So I must comb my hair, make my bed, do laundry, scrub the bathroom and kitchen, dust, vacuum...etc. I will be rewarded with booze tonight (after I see the Star Trek movie - how I love my husband) with friends, so I really must get to it.

Happy Wednesday.
Namaste,
candace

5 comments:

The dependence of comfort: Ode to my Seattle women

May 11, 2009 Candace Morris 6 Comments

good evening.
how are you tonight?
are you putting on your pajamas,
donning the big house sweater?
are you lighting candles,
sipping tea?
It feels so quiet here...and the quiet after a storm is even more still.

Okay. At the risk of sounding like Delilah here, I truly do wonder how other people find solace, true comfort for themselves. Me? I am pretty good at it. Hell, I've made an art form of it, and I am proud to say I am actually doing it for a living.

There is comfort everywhere.
In the smell of her leather interior.
In the heated chamomile and lavender rice bag,
In the shadows from the soft kitchen light.

There is comfort in the sweet smell of his neck,
In pancakes and pina coladas,
In the sighs of relief heard across the city,
In the gifts of letters in your mailbox,
In three pitchers and dominoes,
In friends.

But I didn't know that last bit until it was almost stripped from me.

I have to tell you, I fancy myself quite independent. I am surprised when I miss someone, even more shocked if I feel like I need them to help me, and damn-well stunned if I feel comforted by them. By them, I mean females.

Female relationships have always been tricky - and funnily enough - this is true of all the females I know. But in the last three or four years, something amazing has been forming in my life. There is a group of women here around me that most women dream of. It is almost movie material: funny, fashionable, soulful, artistic, witty, caring, fabulous, not-perfect, complicated, and above all - one big bubble of SUPPORT.

The last two weeks, Joel and I have been pondering relocating across the country. His work was terminating his position unless we moved to Florida, and we were actually considering it...for the spirit of adventure, in the name of courage. That was the first week.

The second week, I lost my breath. I lost my tranquility. I would have lost them.

I had no idea I was attached. I had no idea I felt insecure about my role, I had no idea that I relied on them more than just for fun, sex talk, or boozy brunches. What a gross oversight on my part. You have to wonder how things will change when you move. You start to play games with yourself, listening to lies of "you're not that important to them," "they will be glad to have a break from your complexities..." etc.

Alas. Insecurity...I have always approached it with the understanding that it was ME. I was responsible for my own security and no one else was to be put upon to assure me of their attachment. If I felt insecure, it was my own problem. But through this whole process and a few pretty amazing, honest conversations, I see that I can express insecurities without demanding assurances.

The anxiety of the last two weeks is still poisoning my bones, despite feeling it slowly slipping down the drain with each hot bath. But this time, I didn't do it alone. I didn't put the whole burden, this great pressure, of comforting myself solely upon my shoulders. Dears, how I find celebratory clinks in this small step towards connection and dependence.

I have also discovered the next step of recovering my small child inside - allowing her to be insecure. It repels my being, it turns my stomach with weakness and disgust, but I know it's next. Despite my dread, I find small courage in one thought:

Perhaps this part wasn't meant to be a solo act after all.

In candlelit contemplation,
crm

p.s. we're not moving.

6 comments:

Ode to the women who make it all possible...

May 10, 2009 Candace Morris 3 Comments

Happy Mother's Day to all of you hard-working, always-loving, forever-sacrificing procreators out there. To the mothers of small children, I send strength, encouragement, and frozen moments of unparalleled bliss. You are heroic to me.

And to MY mums...


jean and joel
jean and joel

to a woman who loves her children with such a nurturing, intelligent, abundantly-trusting love...
who loves what i love just because she loves me so much...
from the friends we have to the projects we pursue,
you are ever a loving and true example.


mary and candace
mary and candace

to a woman who knows me as no one else does...
as a child.
to you i say how happy i am to be a part of you.
a superb and unparalleled listener
whose heart is full of the brightest good.

to you all,
i love you with great admiration.

crm

3 comments:

inconsolation

May 08, 2009 Candace Morris 2 Comments

i have ignored the screen all morning.
i have lighted the cathedral candles.
i have written pages and pages.
i have raged on with charcoal.
i have sat with quilt and read.
i have gazed for hours at this (i am in love with her polaroids).
i have ran the hot water cold.
i have imbibed the steamiest of teas.
i have slowly lotioned my dry body.
i have donned dress, david bowie t, and turquoise stockings.
i have turned the music WAY up.
i have breathed deeply.
i have listened, i tell you!

SO TELL ME, SOUL.
WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?





for a girl who has made an art out of consoling herself,
it feels especially illusive.
and, just like my insane cat,
everything runs from me
just as i start to advance.


inconsolably yours on this weepy friday,
crm


post script:
i have also swooooonnneed over Audrey Tautou in this short film for Chanel No. 5 (who is playing coco chanel in an upcoming film!!!)

2 comments:

"only the trying..." T.S. Eliot

May 07, 2009 Candace Morris 9 Comments

without even really meaning for it to be the goal, i have noticed a pattern forming. i keep trying new things! two weeks ago, i tried a new recipe. last week, i bought a cardigan that has a pattern. this week i touched charcoal to paper for the first time.



oh what inner bliss. i had been experiencing frustrations with the small details and intricate moves of watercolor paintbrushes. an artist (who is a natural-born teacher) suggested i try charcoal on a really big surface. it was very liberating, and i was deeply healed by how entirely forgiving charcoal is.

tonight, i plan to begin making my own dress from grandma's vintage pattern. joelio's mom helped me pick out the material and will be officially teaching me how to sew clothes.

oh how GOOD it is for the soul to try...
crm

*note. i did not draw the man. that was the saint. i cannot draw things that actually resemble anything else...YET (more on the power of "yet" soon.)

9 comments:

more patches

May 05, 2009 Candace Morris 4 Comments

More of what I do when my insides feel like boy scouts tied up my intestines with their fancy-ass knots.

- Chopin's "19 Nocturnes"
- Organic mint melange tea
- Long, overdue phone talks with souls who've known you for 10 years
- Writing a long letter
- Dates to your favorite french bistro for mushroom soup and an americano
vita
vita

crossing the room
crossing the room

- Ancient book I found called "Thoughts on peace"

'Tis a sanctuary where all thy grief
Is soon hushed to a heavenly calm;
And thy fainting heart finds sweet relief,
From the perils that threat thee with harm.
A defense doth encompass thee round,
And a viewless protection is thine;
Of the foes that against thee combine.
There a bright ray of light from above
Drives afar the dark gloom of despair;
And a spirit descends like a dove,
Dropping dewy serenity there.
From the wild warring storms of the world,
From the brunt of the heart-piercing shower,
That around thee its tempests hath hurl'd.
Thou escap'st to they sheltering bower!"
Anon

i hear you universe.
your shutter snaps slowly across my eye.
your pencil scribbles loudly across my destiny.

and i listen.
crm

4 comments:

patches

May 05, 2009 Candace Morris 3 Comments

despite a rather productive (i was up before 9!) monday, i can tell this week is gonna be gritty. when i notice the tranquility leaking out of my soul, i have to be careful to abide by the following:

  1. hot bath with nothing but my birthday suit and thoughts
  2. regular and plenty of sleep
  3. touch joel as much as possible
  4. break out the paints (although i just bought charcoal and am eagerly anticipating that)
  5. stay away from dick's cheeseburgers
  6. remember that life is an adventure
  7. believe that i am loved and not quickly forgotten
  8. listen to the rain
what recaptures your ever-illusive tranquility?


here's to patching up that leaky hole,
crm

3 comments:

upon waking

May 02, 2009 Candace Morris 3 Comments

feeling overexposed in the light
blemishes clear,
expression generic, and
confidence shirking...

she found herself
eloquent,
wise,
and beautiful
in the raincloud of her soul.



thank, thank god for the sweet, spring seattle rain.
mme.

3 comments: