my love/hate relationship with destiny

February 18, 2009 candacemorris 4 Comments

the way is already chosen.
i
will
find
it.


to this i am still clinging:
"I beg you…to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answer..."
Rainer Maria Rilke


my dears,
i am friggen scared.

but while on our third margarita, a wise young friend told me that perhaps facing my fear isn't something I can do now...but something I may be only able to do retroactively. Despite timelines and "shoulds," isn't the important thing simply to face your fear, even if you only have the strength once the fear is gone?

~crm

(still working on mexico pics)

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4 comments:

Unknown said...

i can't stop reading that phrase. i'm taking it with me.

Anonymous said...

You may live your way to your answers, but being patient is *hard* - particularly when your emotions are all angsty and are demanding your attention.

I hope you feel better soon (and yay - margaritas!! :)

Leiflet said...

Well, i would amend what your wise young friend said and say that Facing fears isn't something that we choose to do, or CAN do. How do we ever face what we're afraid of? It's usually when you have to, when there's no way around it.

I don't know-- anything, no matter how big or small, can only be taken one day at a time and one moment at a time. I think it gets daunting when we start worrying about destiny. But that's just me.

:) Being in the midwest has probably tempered my melodramatic tendencies.

But i think that things will surface for you bit by bit. It's not always necessarily to go looking for them. I think.

UmberDove said...

I can't actually respond to that quote yet. But I want you to know that I was here and am still slowly chewing on it.