|C'est Fin du August|
il est épuisant d'être moi.
i find relief tonight in the thought that i will soon be asleep and for
at least those 8-10 hours (yay for a holiday)
i will have no cognizance of
August 31, 2008 Candace Morris 6 Comments
|C'est Fin du August|
August 31, 2008 Candace Morris 2 Comments
August 29, 2008 Candace Morris 4 Comments
2. my neighborhood.
4. Hulu.com Last night I watched two episodes of FAME! Oh man, my big sister used to watch this and it's just so horrible and great. What could be more entertaining than a bunch of talented kids going to a performing arts high school running into their teachers at broadway tryouts! LE DRAMA.
5. Water. This is sad. I have had only 1 alcoholic beverage this entire week! I am on a new eating program and while I can still drink, I have to choose b/w a glass of wine or a piece of bread...and right now, I am choosing food. I am sure this will change.
LE LIST? BOOM.
get sim card on iphone fixed. grr.
go to woman doctor. double grr.
grocery shop for dinner. minor grr. (lots of walking)
go to library to pick up movies.
go see Neko Case (i HOPE! still waiting to hear about tickets! BENNNN????)
DRINK A BEER. oh how i have craved you, Belgian-ale. le GULP.
buy three plants w/ Devon on our date to Molbaks. le WHOOT.
plan the grand reorganization of the closet. le triple grrrr, but still feels nice.
August 28, 2008 Candace Morris 6 Comments
August 27, 2008 Candace Morris 10 Comments
i do hope today finds you internally examining and finding that you are worthy of saving for.
August 25, 2008 Candace Morris 13 Comments
Yes, so last night when I finally put down my book, it was close to 1am. I love the night time, my mind comes alive with ideas and inspiration. I find the world quite over-stimulating in general; therefore, when it finally goes to sleep, I feel I can now find the peace and quiet to sit still, ease out of the day's restlessness, and listen to my insides. It's a terribly necessary, soulful part of my day.
For instance, last night's journal entry gave me some necessary mental goals for this week about shopping, relationships, eating, and nurturing myself through a hyper-sensitive phase...if I had omitted that from last night, I think today I would feel even heavier...and dearies, Monday is already
I know plenty of people that do not need routine or ritual (hubby being numero uno (when I am out of town and I call at 4pm and he is just then making lunch, I experience a not-so-slight shock to my system)) - and I am unabashed in my perplexion of this - excusing it to the omnipresent mantra "to each their own." I think my mother was very structured (kids need this) and so I piggy-backed those needs of hers onto my day - consequently, she is also highly-organized, a capable leader, a night-owl, an introvert, a late riser, and a fabulously good house-cleaner (all of which I am proud to say are qualities I share).
I truly believe that my structured life acts as a means for me to alleviate the constant pressings of worry on my life. If I make sure to add something to my routine, I don't have to fret about remembering to do it. I won't wake up in 30 years with saggy lines on my face because I didn't apply my night cream, darn it! I very well may wake up with saggy lines anyway, but it won't be because I was inattentive or a poor steward of this body. (I live in rather high-expectations of myself...and for the most part do find that I can meet those expectations. Except for when it all comes crashing down on what Joel likes to term Friday Night Meltdowns. I will spare you the messy details, but how vexatious indeed!).
Please feel ye not judged, I simply wish to present this thought: If people would experiment more with the patterns of their day - I think they would find two things.:
1) Structure/routine/planning is one of the most useful combatants to idle depression and
2) Routine cannot cure the soul's ailments for life's quest for meaning (number 2 being my current didactic speech to self).
I think the next thing to add is to structure-in/routine-in some exercise - because I am constantly anxious about how little I use my body and how irresponsible of me it is - and how if I just DID it, I would certainly love it more. Also, it would surely help the anxiety I cannot fucking shake these last months AND assist my peace of mind as I seek to reestablish a healthy weight-loss regimen.
I have of late been overwhelmed by the talent of others - of Miss Plath's Journals, of McCullers, Mr. Steinbeck of understanding that they:
a) make writing look MUCH too easy
b) are more talented than I can ever wish to be
both of which i find discouraging, yet despite these discouragements they:
a) inspire me to write
b) are simply humans "telling men's hearts of the hearts of men centuries dead" (Shapiro)
and that's all i am. a human female. .
a human lady comprised of bones, blood, tissue, nerves, and soul. a human who will someday not feel the pen in her hand or touch joel's smooth face or breathe the forest air or eat gobi gosh or be anxious about how to be wise with money, but the very hand i use to deftly type these nonsensical words will decay...yet these words never will.
you know, for having no living tissue, words sure are stalwart sons of bitches. My words very may will be the only me that lives on, especially if I remain childless (are children just another vain attempt at man's desire to be immortal?) If this is the sad state of decay, perhaps I should write more. It may be my only lineage.
Befuddled and Pensive,
August 20, 2008 Candace Morris 7 Comments
August 19, 2008 Candace Morris 13 Comments
August 18, 2008 Candace Morris 3 Comments
August 15, 2008 Candace Morris 3 Comments
nothing is really wrong.
that's what's wrong.
ways i have entertained myself today thus far in my 8-5 grind:
~rekindled my interest in the Myers-Briggs research I am collecting - wherein i send out the test to all friends and family, compile their results into one color-coded smart little spreadsheet and analyze away!
~posted a Visually Ink Lined blog
~emailed lots of lovely people for various reasons in my detail-driven life
~planned what i was wearing for each day of the weekend
~planned a menu and shopping list for next week's attempt to cut cost and calories
~walked to the mailroom and got mail
~bitched about it being friday with the UPS guy who always flirts with me
August 14, 2008 Candace Morris 0 Comments
August 12, 2008 Candace Morris 3 Comments
|Going back to Cali - Aug 08|
August 06, 2008 Candace Morris 7 Comments
August 04, 2008 Candace Morris 2 Comments
August 03, 2008 Candace Morris 1 Comments
August 02, 2008 Candace Morris 3 Comments
August 02, 2008 Candace Morris 6 Comments
August 01, 2008 Candace Morris 6 Comments
I KEEP FORGETTING TO ASK. HOW RUDE OF ME!!!
Since I will be the hostess with the mostess when you come visit my abode...
Prithee, answer me this:
What, my dear, is your drink of choice?!!!
Mine, you ask?
To start the night: Kettle One Martini. Straight Up. Stirred.
To finish the night: Oban. Neat.
Saint Theresa newly adorns my green room. I'm in love with a new muscle T-shirt I found second-hand. I showed them to her last week wh...