semblances of a past homei won't lie to you. this has been one of the strangest transitions of my married life.
i was very happy to get to unpacking this apartment, but when the time came, i realized that i was under prepared for the creativity it would require to fit into a smaller place. we left behind a LOT of storage and furniture that used to house things, so it was surprising to attempt to find a new home for things and realize that fitting into this place is a complicated mathematical equation.
last night was shot. i was in pain (red zone backaches), melancholy, and easily upset.
this am was shot. i was all of the above, only groggy from not enough sleep. and i had a second alone in the place to get my bearings, and dears - i felt oh so sad. i had no orientation and no comfort for my loss.
but then some energy shifted.
joel found some free stuff on craigslist that is fitting perfectly for our purposes, mainly a small desk. the girl was really amazingly nice...and then we were able to help someone who requested a ton of moving boxes, so we felt like a happy recipient of our cyber benefactress, aka craigslist.
then i went to the library, grabbed some movies i had on hold and also a much needed espresso. after i returned, i felt renewed and finally able to see past the fear that deep down, we would not fit here.
but as the carpet clears, our things find their own space, and dear god...our home is refilled with those things that feed our souls (are your ears burning, my preciosa booklings? i really did spent at least two hours organizing you, and you gave me more than i can express.)
it is with a great sigh of relief and some ambient music that i find some recentering.
hello new apartment. my name is candace. it's nice to finally meet you.