A DAY ALL FOR ME
Well, I've returned to snowy Maple Valley after a 3 week hiatus wherein I gallivanted all along the West Coast. After spending two glorious weeks with my niece Clara (and her parents, they're pretty great too, I guess), the saint flew down to join me in driving our new car back to Seattle from San Diego. We expected horrible snow showers and icy conditions, but the weather couldn't have been better. A peaceful trip indeed.
Thankfully we have friends and family all along the way so we didn't have to make the 23-hour drive in one straight shot. We had such enjoyable times visiting people; I'm counting right now and we visited 7 homes and 30 people (12 of them kids) 6 dogs, and 4 cats.
So you can imagine that this introverted lady is soaking up the quiet familiarity of her home like the solitude-sponge she is.
After the 10-hour stint from Redding to Seattle yesterday, I arrived home sleepy and thankful. I rested in the hottest of scalding baths, lighted a candle, and ate a tortilla with butter (I often eat while in the tub, it's so luxurious!). I noticed that I was indeed spent in word count and thought-process, full well knowing that when required to extrovert myself, the fatigue manifests itself both in cerebral function and physical fatigue. It feels like I've just ran a 10-mile race.
Now I've returned and am eager to catch up with those here in my home; also knowing that I will need some time to recapture my social stamina and here's the great part about all of this that hit me while I was in the bath...
I was hit with my limits and let down into rest, knowing that I could not call or see a single soul for a few days and two good feelings took over where before those feelings would have been self-deprecating and full of toxic bile. I used to berate myself for my own limits, but in the last few years of care and growth, I noticed that I liked myself not only in spite of these frustrating limitations, but even because of them. No one can be Candace like I can. The other wonderful feeling is receiving words from friends that remind me to take my time settling in, to call only when I am ready, to reemerge on my own time. So, I shall.
And the magic keeps coming in the form of flurrying snow falling upon my country home. What perfect timing.
Perhaps tonight I shall decorate the house with my Christmas baubles...
~crm
3 comments:
Soak into yourself, your comforts, and relaxation. You deserve it! And you have a few big holidays ahead!!!?!
That looks like an Oregon montage.
(Oh Jesus, I pray that my trip through Oregon next week could be a 2 minute montage rather than 6 hours of twitching)
I feel better just knowing you're over the hill. And when you're ready, you know where I am...
i'm glad you're back. i missed you ;) and it's SO great that you're accepting and loving yourself because of who you are. it takes a bit, doesn't it? but once you're completely there (and i'm not, at least not fully) it's bliss. so good for you. and as for the magic of christmas - we too are a childless household and we too decorate like crazy despite that fact. my mum also still makes me an advent calendar every year (a little present every day...) which i've told her should PROBABLY stop once we have kids, but which i definitely have always loved as it's such a wind-up to christmas and reminds me every day that an intense few days of awesome family time is on its way!! anyway, i'm rambling as usual...hope you have a great few days of relaxation and self-care!
xoxo
j
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