because we must

November 19, 2008 Candace Morris 6 Comments

i am owl.
i am deer.
i am weeping willow.


i am elf owl.
our genus shares a name.
i turn my sight 180 degrees, always looking at what was.
i dart illusively into the night, my screech portending wisdom or death.
my sight is blurred, so i must instead feel.
i am nocturnal.


i am deer.
i freeze in fear and caution,
i live in the middle - between thicket and prairie.
i stretch my neck down while listening to the aching groans of oak and evergreen
and only when safe,
do i proceed with my lichen meal.
i am still.


i am willow.
i take root in the fallen,
growing fast and growing old - to some medicinal, to some a weed.
i extend towards the earth in both limb and root.
pushing ever inward.
i am solitary.

and although we must,
i really do not want to die.
_________________________________________


Today i want to have an affair with an encyclopedia.

Like...well, do you know the scene in Sense and Sensibility where the youngest daughter, Margaret Dashwood, is hiding in the great library with an atlas the size of a chalkboard? I want to be there today - my curls & ribbons disheveled and dress tangled in my knobby knees as I sit before a big window and pour over learning...

if i were in charge of the academic lesson plans of my life, my class schedule would look something like this:
  • flora and fauna (mainly birds, trees, flowers, and well - everything...)
  • global burial practices and death rites
  • monastic living
  • religions of the world
  • piano and music theory
  • poetry
  • oil painting
  • web design
  • ice skating
  • opera
  • wine making / tasting
  • photography
  • nutrition
  • ballet / jazz
  • sewing
  • yoga
  • art history
  • bread making
  • carpentry
  • acting
  • philosophy
  • makeup artistry and hair design
  • literature...of course.
  • book binding
  • watercolors
  • psychology
  • violin or cello
  • theology
  • french

_________________________________________

it's beautiful in seattle today.
"it's beautiful inside me today," i assure myself.

{beauty mustn't be subjugated to caprice or humor}

for though we must not live forever,
perhaps we can live for now...
by finding beauty for beauty's sake.


~crm

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