because we must
i am owl.
i am deer.
i am weeping willow.
our genus shares a name.
i turn my sight 180 degrees, always looking at what was.
i dart illusively into the night, my screech portending wisdom or death.
my sight is blurred, so i must instead feel.
i am nocturnal.
i freeze in fear and caution,
i live in the middle - between thicket and prairie.
i stretch my neck down while listening to the aching groans of oak and evergreen
and only when safe,
do i proceed with my lichen meal.
i am still.
i take root in the fallen,
growing fast and growing old - to some medicinal, to some a weed.
i extend towards the earth in both limb and root.
pushing ever inward.
i am solitary.
and although we must,
i really do not want to die.
_________________________________________
Today i want to have an affair with an encyclopedia.
Like...well, do you know the scene in Sense and Sensibility where the youngest daughter, Margaret Dashwood, is hiding in the great library with an atlas the size of a chalkboard? I want to be there today - my curls & ribbons disheveled and dress tangled in my knobby knees as I sit before a big window and pour over learning...
if i were in charge of the academic lesson plans of my life, my class schedule would look something like this:
- flora and fauna (mainly birds, trees, flowers, and well - everything...)
- global burial practices and death rites
- monastic living
- religions of the world
- piano and music theory
- poetry
- oil painting
- web design
- ice skating
- opera
- wine making / tasting
- photography
- nutrition
- ballet / jazz
- sewing
- yoga
- art history
- bread making
- carpentry
- acting
- philosophy
- makeup artistry and hair design
- literature...of course.
- book binding
- watercolors
- psychology
- violin or cello
- theology
- french
_________________________________________
it's beautiful in seattle today.
"it's beautiful inside me today," i assure myself.
{beauty mustn't be subjugated to caprice or humor}
for though we must not live forever,
perhaps we can live for now...
by finding beauty for beauty's sake.
~crm
6 comments:
You are a little Margaret Dashwood in my mind today... and a willow and a deeer.
Can I join you? In that tree house with the encyclopedia... your list sounds perfect. I read it with a sigh - for wanting to do ALL those things too. Perhaps that is your calling? To start a little haphazard school in the trees...
maybe a tattoo with your you'res...you could wrap it around your leg or arm. All in browns..that would be beautiful.
EDWARD: Oh, Miss Dashwood! Excuse me I was wondering do you by any chance have such a thing as a reliable atlas?
ELINOR: I believe so.
EDWARD: Excellent. I wish to check the position of the Nile.
EDWARD: My sister says it is in South America.
**From under the table we hear a snort.**
ELINOR: Oh! No, no indeed. She is quite wrong. For I believe it is in--in Belgium.
EDWARD: Belgium? Surely not. You must be thinking of the Volga.
MARGARET: (from under the table) The Volga?
ELINOR: Of course. The Volga, which, as you know, starts in...
EDWARD: Vladivostok, and ends in...
ELINOR: St Albans.
EDWARD: Indeed. Where the coffee beans come from.
**The game is stopped by the appearance from under the table of MARGARET who reveals herself to be a disheveled girl of eleven. She hauls the atlas up and plonks it in front of EDWARD.**
MARGARET: The source of the Nile is in Abyssinia.
EDWARD: Is it? Good heavens. How do you do. Edward Ferrars.
MARGARET: Margaret Dashwood.
my class schedule:
- Quantum Mechanics/Theoretical Physics
- Theology
- Church History
- Philosophy
- .NET & Java Programming
- Mycology
- Rock Climbing
- Audio Engineering
my class schedule:
french cuisine
sommeliere training
philosophy
horse-back riding
script writing
guided meditation
european literature
french
arabic
pregnancy massage
rose gardening
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