Greenwater, Washington

August 01, 2011 candacemorris 3 Comments

Joel and I joined his parents this last weekend in Greenwater, Washington, located in the foothills of Mt. Rainier.  We did exactly a lot of nothing.  Well, Joel climbed two trees and threw several large sticks for our family dog, Abbey.  However, my particular kind of nothing meant reading, staring at the fire, taking naps, sunbathing, playing boggle, sipping various beverages, meandering pleasantries with the parents, and allowing that angst-y boredom to sit on my bones and soak deep into the soil of my soul.  It turns out that boredom, if indulged, can actually feel a lot like peace; however, the conversion requires intense mental discipline and I am practicing and practicing.  Just like anxiety and excitement.

(Sidenote: My therapist recently mention that anxiety and excitement feel the same in the body.   Apparently, I've been very excited for the last 10 years.  Sigh.  Anxiety in my being is as familiar to me as my husband is.  I see it, I breath through it, I recognize it, and yet it persists.  I'm beginning to get accustomed to its presence as a part of my DNA and consequently have stopped letting it have so much attention.)

Why do we fear boredom?  Why do we feel the compulsion to constantly fill the rooms of our houses with background noise?  Why are so many of our hobbies and activities escapist in nature?  I can't help but feel that we must be running from something - even from the nagging fear that maybe we are more shallow than we think...or that if we stop to examine the hard parts too much, they will take over and we will be sad.   How interesting it is to know a person by how they spend their leisure time.  I have no express point here, and certainly don't intend to sound judge-y, but I am reflecting on the goodness of boredom and how few people I know are genuinely adept at soulful-rest.  Everyone I know values hard work and is exhilarated by the "go-go-go" of daily life, but a tragic few feel equally motivated to rest (I am not talking about mindless rest such as sleep or various forms of entertainment and technologies - though of course they have their merit). I therefore fully believe weekends such as these are vastly more soul-satisfying than I realize.  Even within our marriage we have noticed that intentionally pursuing individual time to day-dream has been so good for us both.  I happen to have a lifestyle where planning that time is easier for me than for others, but as our pursuit of a family begins to birth itself in our brains, I want nothing more than to master this discipline BEFORE it becomes challenged by children.  Nothing like setting up ridiculous expectations for a family, right?  I am certain they will be dashed - and that my life will morph into something unrecognizable to me now, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't idealize on some regard.  Either way, I want to prioritize these mind-vacations.

To your dreams,
By day and by night.


A video of Joel at the treetop:


for larger and more photos:

Camping w Mom_Dad Greenwater