she started and ended my day

April 27, 2009 Candace Morris 3 Comments

the last words i heard at the end of monday..."but it hurts." while i put monday to bed, i ponder this pain...


today was a day i dream of, starting with composing a letter to her and ending with a voice mail from her. i did exactly as i wanted with my time, felt exactly as i wished i would with my feelings, and fell in love with my marriage all over again.

after joelio returned from work this afternoon, i settled into the nook of his arm as we cuddled on the couch, talking of the nothings in our day. this cuddle conversation turned into a luxurious nap (the kind where you fall into positions you are sure you will never find again, but which are so entirely comfortable you are afraid to move even when your hand falls asleep). upon awakening, we ate dinner, watched two hours of the history channel about the medici family, and then wandered to queen anne to check out a bookstore.

it was a night where a bookstore turned into a wine bar turned into a hole in the wall pizzeria. it was a night where sipping our 2004 rioja made us the most clever, most beautiful, most alive people in the room. it was a night where the conversation flows languidly of poesy, life work, philosophy, love, and our own painful issues.

for i say this clearly and stand by it.
even the happiest of couples wound each other indelibly.

but the couples i admire and to which i aspire are those couples that worry not about wounding each other, but worry more about communication and forgiveness after the wounds have been inflicted.

i love what being a part of joel's most intimate daily thoughts has done for me.

but the road to my greatest love was and will probably always be filled with rocks, boulders, precipices, narrow-footing, steep grades, and tumultuous rain clouds.

because, well. it just hurts to love.
it just hurts.
if it doesn't, dude...you're not doing it right.

crm

p.s.
day drinkers

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