memories in montage form
so, last night as i was trying to slumber, my mind was flooded with reminisince of events in my little home...the home that i must bid adieu to (don't let it hear, but it's getting a little, tinsey, winsey bit easier.)Let this blog hereby solicit any reader to partake in sharing what they think of when they imagine themselves in my house - as a means to honor this beautiful place.
here are some of mine, the ones that visited me last night.
3am, dancing with niki to the cure.
sitting with jess in our pjs at noon, ordering beef and broccoli, marathoning sex and the city. I also remember when b&j came to visit and brought us a hookah for christmas and we sat in the sweet glow of missing each other and rose tobacco. then ben came to live with us, and i remember making tuna sanwhiches for a lunch for just the two of us - and it was the introduction to one of the most fascinating and lovely men i will ever know.
andrew and jordan kooy, and weekends where time stops...playing scrabble, watching movies, never getting sober.
the visits from my jackie. remember the first one? haha...massage on kitchen table, and then mekenzie and joel working on the computer.
joels family and having everyone over after gma passed - and how this house held us in her comfort and warmth as we mourned.
our newlywedded fights and bliss...(the balcony which gave me a vision once)
my sisters and their visits - laughing so hard our wine poured out our noses. the heat after the alaska cruise!
adam being our live in family for those wonderful summers, and then long talks with adam and erin...
if you have been here, i would love to hear a memory...please? it would so help me mourn.
nighty night loverlies.
13 comments:
My memory of visiting your nest (and that it is because nests are a place to be comfortable and secure)was for your birthday party about 4 years ago and I was in transition. My kids were there, you and Joel made me feel so welcome even though I should have felt out of place. It helped me along my journey. Love you....
Being at your appartment makes me think of the time I met you and Joel for the first time. I walked up the stairs, and he gave me the biggest hug...I wasn't expecting it, but I loved it! I'm also reminded of the nights when we, you and I, sat on your couch and learned about how eerily similar we are. Oh, and the smell of jasmine rice will forever remind of your lovely little love shack.
Adam and I staying up till 5am and then walking through the snow covered streets and smoking cigars...
Watching movies and rolling 200+ cigarettes with Andrew Kooy...
my wife standing on the balcony late one evening...
Peter, Roger, Ben, and Andrew helping me move ALL our furniture out of the apartment so that we could get it re-carpeted while Candace was away and then all falling asleep in the car and then moving it all back in...
I remember something about pineapple, New Years Eve and you having the spins.
i love the feeling of climbing your stairs. i can still hear the sound of my shoes hitting that old, thick wood, upwards on some staircase that seems centuries older than both of us. there was something hallowed, very sacred about that ascent, in knowing that you would be there to open the door, that there was a true home inside that place.
I remember those many months Andrew and Judy lived accross the way from you two. I practically lived on index avenue for those months I was back from college. I remember those weeks where all we ate were protein shakes and the many failed attempts to make a good mojito. Long, late talks. Loaded Questions with the gang. Joel's "Bigger Rounder" song. Fixing the truck on a hot summer day. Lots of video games. The memories go on and they're all good. Miss you, love you.
that is one of my most fond memories . . . every time I hear any 80's music and the Cure especially, I wish I was back there dancing with you ;)
Ode to Index Avenue
the balcony of death
a bosom that held the smokers and stargazers
huddling around the vulvar breach
the rail of longing
beckoning sojourners to remain
among the evergreens and rain
the cupboards of promise
a remnant of decades gone by
their dark press boards a cache of neverending stemwear
the carpet of memory
its orange talons clinging to particles of the past
embraced for a time, replaced with a sigh
the stairs of hope
tennuous at best
a clamouring din of comings and goings
a greeting of splinters, aerobic challenge and the joy of knowing a morris awaits
the joy of knowing
you are home
i am so overwhelmed by these, my house has been so good to those i love...and that is all you can ask from four walls, just to love and embrace everyone you love.
Deep, heavy, warm candlelight. Like a small Italian chapel that holds a history I will never be fully privy to because stories are never the same experience as presence. Red light flickering across a saint's weathered face, musty books in a foreign tongue, red wine freely poured. This is what I see when I close my eyes and think of your home.
for the record,
i haven't ever never been to your delightful flat...
but if i had, once a long time ago, we probably would have spent the evening on the floor, in the dark, listening to Vespertine...
does this count as a memory?
living in the same space for so many years turns a house into a home. RW and I are pre-transition in life right now and i dread the day i toss out half of the bits and pieces i have collected over the 4 years spent here....take solace in the fact that a gal really can't toss a memory.
stay well sister.
i have so many good memories of your home:
cooking with joel: the fried provolone just didn't work out!
smoking cigarettes inside: you guys are fucking cool, and the really heavy orange ashtray is cool too....
walking through the door: like coming home! you guys might be the most proficient huggers i know! there's something about a joel hug...
being sad: i've been nurtured through some of the darkest times of my life in the warmth and welcome of your living room, whiskey in hand....
being happy: parties at your place were always a bitchin' good time!!!!
sad to see you guys leave such a wonderful home, but i look forward to making new memories in your new home! love you guys!
Hmmmm. Not all my memories are good. Or at least not easy.
I remember Matt and Joel talking theology in the rain.
I remember being there with Alice, neither of us totally feeling at home.
I remember being there with Lisa, both us of feeling a weird connection that we shouldn't have been.
Being weirded out hearing you talk about computer hardware with Joel.
That 4 hour apple pie.
Not being sure if you and i could be friends now that you had a husband (turns out that we can).
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