late night picture fix

i have had a DEELLIGHTful bit of pictures sent my way this very eve. there is very little in life that gives me immediate soul pleasure like photos of my beloveds. here you are, dears...in all your soulful glory.
(my surrogate brother cousin roomate - through the lens of his beloved and talented wife, Erin)


joel and i at tango tapas, where we took mom in law for her belated bday.


the parents i adore. the dessert isn't too bad either!!! good loooooord.


my nephew, gavin. my best friend jackie's kids. they move my soul.



his sister, mekenzie. oh man...this precious being has the childhood i was supposed to. i see her and i am me again.


these pictures are delighting my midnight soul.

off for some shut eye.

smooch.

monday morning pokeys

you didn't hear it from me first. i stole it from the alaska air lady on the phone. i was changing a reservation for my boss, and she explained that the computer was slow, that it had the "monday morning pokeys." i loved the aptness of the phrase so much that i am stealing it now.


and isn't it the truth? i think my work day would be so much better if i could do a 10am-3pm day and poke around in the morning.
(let's just pretend for a minute that i would actually get out of bed earlier than like 30 min before i had to leave.)



In this imaginary world, i would make my bed leisurely, inspire myself with my daily blog fix, enrich my eyes on etsy, take plenty of time to ponder my outfit, read a chapter in Augustine's confessions while gazing out my sunny window, sip some jasmine tea, make some poached eggs and orange juice, take a long shower, listen to NPR, lovingly put myself together for the day, and then leisurely walk to work.

you realize that in reality, it's probably about 2pm before i would get any of this done. but hey, it's imaginary!

i just love to poke, poke, poke.

people need to poke more.

outside of this poking, my head is a-brimming with lists galore. last night, while relaxing in bath (honey, this is where my most amazing thoughtlings occur), I realized that I needed to start a list of ways to spoil myself. i did this list this morning, and i am quite happy with it. i then prioritized this list by most wanted/necessary (i have included the expensive hairspray and mascara i like on this list), and am now able to clear the flow of ideas in my mind due to this cleansing list. oh listlings!!!! i just adore you so.

another listing happening is my apartment projects. i have to prioritize them, and this is the hardest part for me. candace is a very impatient bird, my friends...so there isn't a lot of waiting that wants to naturally occur. but alas, each item requires green monies, so i am forced to wait. and the waiting is goodness for my souling.


i am annoying myself with the -ings. you?

in tragic news...in the porting of a leftover salad, i managed to spill caesar dressing on the inside of my decidedly hugeific purse. i will now be on the bus and vampires and ghouls alike will be repelled from my garlicky essence. i guess i really DO have to get a new purse now...oh darns.

happy pokeys, my invaluable loves.

music makes everything better

for this melancholy month of may, i choose goldfrapp's new album, "seventh tree." especially today - especially just for this lyric:

"she's like a little bird
she flies from tree to tree
to see what she can see
she's far away from me"

i needed an escape. i took a green drive. it rained. it cried. everything was wrong. allison goldfrapp'ed me into her bosom and made it better.

i am a little bird. i am far away from me.

now, it's later. i am sitting in one of my favorite spots in all of eternity - my in-law's. (strange? you have to meet them to understand). The boys are playing some Tri-Ominos, I sit and gaze at this dreamy new cookbook my lovely devon gave me as a housewarming present...mmmmm, the food of france. the book could never be as lovely as my devon, but it's a damn fine present. what should i cook, my pets? how about some cauliflower soup? crepes suzette? maybe a light salade nicoise?


friends, it's hard to keep writing when what's inside feels unacceptable or unbeneficial to share. i want to do it anyway, because i really need it. so i guess... sorry, my loves, but this is for me. this one i am saving for my achy soul today. how i long for the release of soul that comes from the sweet sound of pressy keys and the scribble of pen to parchment.

for some of the first times in my life...i know it. i know anger.

it
feels
cleansing.

i guess
f
i
r
e
does
that
to
you.


some weekend highlights to share:
  • thomas street bistro. yes, it's on my street. joel and i are 2 for 2 on hoorah restaurants within walking distance of our abode. a shift in some really upsetting friday energy came in the form of a random $400 bonus that joel came home with....with accolades from his job. he then treated me to a meal out (a rather scary portion of income goes to our dining experiences, she confesses sheepishly). we lazed over a 3 hr meal, four courses, a bottle of wine, and fabulously cute frenchman telling us cute stories about his provencial town. we then meanderd round about ways to our house, stopping at an ivy-COVERED brick building that joel was very tempted to ascend. once we got home, we enjoyed a rousing game of boogle, and despite your guesses that i would win (due to my superb wordsmithery), we were tied.

  • my baby sister-in-law, julie had her bridal shower. as with most women in relationships where they are loved, she continues to grow ever lovleier and more whole.
  • an amazing saturday night meal with jason and devon. joel was very on his game and his cooking skills wowed us all. it felt so right to host our first dinner in the new place, and joel and i keep saying how much we love our home. we then took a midnight walk, the four of us, through our urban jungle and explored some gardens, mansions, and hanging ives and arbols. i found a tree that even now, one day later, is calling me...it muse that it will be my summer haven, my solstice where painting, reading, cloud watching, and grape eating will commence.
maybe you come out and play with me?


we would die without it

in a really round about way - thanks melissa! - i found this amazing paragraph on a blog.

"We don’t write because we’re the best at it. We don’t write because there’s anything new to say that the world hasn’t already heard. Writers, like all artists, indulge in their craft because without it they would wither away into tiny dust clusters. We write because despite all our jadedness and cynicism, we somehow still believe in God and love and beauty and that there really is a reason to be alive and to be alive full-force. We write to write and we write to be read because we hope that maybe the answer to whatever is wrong will be found in the process of talking about it. We use words to say “I’m happy”, “I’m sad”, “I’m in love”, “I’m scared.” And we keep piling up all these words to say those same few human phrases over and over again till one day we get it just right."


My soul learches for you to know, lovelies - that I MUST write. There is no other option for my life.

Thank you for helping me realize this.

find me astray


I love finding lost things.

Many of you know I moved almost two weeks ago. After about 2 nights of sleeping at my new place, my neighbor and lovely friend Kelly brought over her issue of domino magazine.

Granted, she introduced me to this magazine, but what gives her the right to have hers before mine comes? I mean, I have been a loyal subscriber for over T.H.R.R.R.E.E.E.E whole months now, why should I have to wait while she oogles the lovelies? She even brought it over to show me the new inspiration for my kitchen. i know! such audacity.

I started to think about the injustice of my poor little lost domino…mental check list.


Had I forwarded my mail exactly on time? check.
Had I logged onto the magazine website and changed my address? check.
Had I checked both the old mailbox and the new mailbox? check.

check, check, and double freaking CHECK. dangs it to all.....

But to no avail. domino was A.W.A.L, finito, poof, missing, extinct.

In other words:
L
O
S
T

I do not recover well from loosing things. i was prepared to go buy a replacement yesterday...but wouldn't you know, and thank the jesus, I found her crammed into my new 1920s* mail box!


Oh the delight!

The sheer euphoric stupendousness!!! She was wrapped in plastic and protected. Not lost, not AWAL, not missing, not finito. not astray.

In other words:
F
O
U
N
D
!!!!!!!!!

Oh what pleasure is mine, sweet little domino. Did I rip her open and allow her beauty to breath life into my idea-sapped brain? Stay stay, impatience. I am the most patient person ever...so,
I saved it. That’s right. I became like my bigger sister hoarding her larger-than-life sized Disneyland sucker well after I had already finished mine.
I saved it for my most sacred time. My bath. (Did you know I was a religious bath-taker, dearies?).

But on to my point.

Reasons I love this issue:


  1. In the editors tribute to mother’s day, she used this word - Insouciance: lack of care or concern; indifference. I delight in this.
  2. Even IF Kelly did show me my new kitchen …I found my new kitchen! It is already this gorgeous stark white, but very vintage. Therefore I will be adding cobalt and yellow to enrich this place.

In happy news!!! I received the most exciting housewarming gift from said friend above. Annette on Etsy from whom Kelly bought the print is really talented and her prints speak oodles of exaltation to my soul. I will get one more of the same orange one below, and also a blue one. Aren’t they just delish? (click on pic to view on etsy)





I hope you find what you have lost, loverlies.

p.s. i almost burned my eye off today. i had run out of contact solution, so i used some random stuff i found in my backup supplies. i completely read the label correctly and everything, but when i went to put my contacts in this morning, OH IT BURNED! I couldn't even open my eye for about 10 seconds to get the culprit out! aye, dios mio. so today, i am donning my prada glasses, and they needed to be donned anyway - the fabulousness gorgeouness of them might be SOMEWHAT overshadowed by my looks-like-a-case-of-pink-eye right eyeball. ouchy. lesson: do not use cheap contact solution.

* did you know that it's improper to add an apostrophe onto a date? It is not 1950's, but rather 1950s. grammar thought of today.