the weekend report - on single-tasking

February 07, 2011 candacemorris 6 Comments

Yet again, I have recently felt the need to over-simplify. Like every human, I carry complexities, dichotomies, and paradox--all of these usually rivet and inspire me. For whatever reason, however, I am just a bit tired of feeling unclear, convoluted, and conflicted about so many different issues. As I wrote on a postcard this weekend, I feel the great urgency of momentum while simultaneously feeling the need to slam both feet down on the breaks. I want to cut free and run wildly through the streets; I want to lock the doors and tuck in under mounds of blankets. I want things to change; I want them to stay exactly as they are forever. I want to say everything; I want to be silent. I suffocate with anticipation; and cripple with dread. Did I ever feel just ONE way about something? It seems the impetuous nature of being a child would provide such clarity of desire, but alas, I am no longer a child. In adulthood, is it impossible to regain?

While trying to honor this burden within, the strongest lingering toll it takes is exhaustion. I therefore seek solace in the simple. For me, this weekend meant single-mindedly focusing on making a good meal (which also happened to help meet my 2011 goal of trying a new recipe every month). I had a huge list of tasks that it would have felt very good to accomplish, but when my eyes landed upon "cook a new recipe," I knew it was just the nesting I needed. I was trying to quiet my active and productive mind, to shhhhhsh it into resting. This is one of my newest disciplines- learning to do ONE thing at a time with total focus. Perfecting the art of single-tasking.

So I did.

I took my sweet time at the grocery store.
I chopped and sauteed and measured with a deliberate care of slowness.

It was good because it was with purpose.