what helped.
There is a lot of talk in the blogging world about privacy and disclosure. Though many of you may not agree or practice it yourself, I have always approached this little web page as entirely for me...and that my readers and friends return because they want to read about me and my life and my struggles and my joys and my thoughts and my poetry. I am a vulnerable person anyway, happy to share my thoughts and journey to whatever degree you might be able to handle, so it follows that blogular activity would be a similar sentiment.
Anyway, I started this blog because I am a female who is an artist who deals with severe depression and who has found that being an introvert and having a penchant towards moody, melancholy things is beautiful and to be embraced solely because its ME. I use this place to be real...and that will never change.
Yesterday's blog post was one of the first in a long while that was sad. It was really sad. I felt horrible and although I thought about putting a positive spin on the thing, the truth was that I didn't want to coat something that didn't feel authentic. I am glad I didn't.
One of the most amazing results of this determined honesty (which I am not preaching should be the standard for blogging, this is entirely about me), is the overwhelming encouragement I received from this wonderfully supportive and kind blogging community of which I am a member. (If you aren't yet acquainted, stick around and you'll start seeing similar names on comments and start perusing other blogs and you'll see how well we love each other). I truly feel that if I had not expressed my self-pity, frustrations, and sadness, I would never have heard some of what helped me recover.
Today is new and I have hope and I am entirely sure it's thanks to the safety-net of words people have gifted to my battered soul.
Here's a bit of what helped:
- This amazing blog post shared with me by this amazing lady.
- Every single comment on my blog helped me immensely with perspective. The kindness and poignancy of others words is one of the only ways for me to pierce the damn of my emotions that seriously needs to flow freely.
- This phrase from such a dear soul : "You will find your peace again. This is not all you are. You are an artist that has to work for now." I chanted myself to sleep with it.
- A truism from my hummingbird that challenged me to think differently and come to my own thoughts on positive thinking (a post soon to come...)
- Red saying, "Be nice to my friend."
- Having moments to myself alone in the house before everyone came home...and making THIS wonderful squash. Nesting does a WORLD of good.
- Words from Sunny: "Take heart, Candace. Take major heart. Know that your success is imminent. I cannot wait to buy a copy of your first edition."
- My mother telling me that she's been thinking of me all day.
I share not only because it's healthy for my soul to express aloud, as well as writing it down...but also to hear your thoughts, your stories, and receive the benefit of being in community...your encouragement. I know its been a major help to many other bloggers in their times of despair.
Even the smallest of words can save someone from having to continually balance on their soul's precarious tight-rope walk. If we know we can fall, and still be safe...well, then...we can be helped.
And we can rest.
crm
5 comments:
You just made my heart leap a bit :)
Im happy you have a place and a method for soothing when you need it.
I am still working on that one.
And I think its brave and beautiful that you share what you do in this space. keep it up.
i'm glad to know a person who can feel despair and elation equally well. i love you candace ruth.
love and love and more love. can ya feel it?
I love you. I always have. And I'll never stop reading. No matter how sad or how happy your posts are. I want the real you, any way you slice it.
xx
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