in the works

August 17, 2010 Candace Morris 9 Comments

I've got a new idea in the brain, one I've been journaling about for a few weeks now, but only just started while on my artist retreat.  I was a bit frustrated with the beginning process, but after a long dinner with BC and Umber, I was able to sort of talk my way over the roadblocks.
(Sidenote: Those two are ridiculously helpful sounding boards)

I don't yet have what other artists call their "process." I haven't been committed enough to taking writing as seriously as it demands from me (no doubt out of various fears and stubbornness), so I have not established how to go about BEGINNING a project.  I usually just haphazardly scribble something in my journal or just sit at my keyboard and separate my filter from my typers, and usually I find it a magical combination for expressing myself.  I almost never edit myself (although I most certainly do RE READ my posts) and find I usually am able to express exactly what it is I want to say.

But I realize that I want more out of this writing life than simply blogging.  Don't get me wrong, I am 100% in favor of self-publishing and will defend it to the most dubious critic, but I am just waking up to the idea that I would like to commit to more than "off the cuff" writing.  I rarely PLAN my posts...and I guess I am simply saying I would like to be more...
(I can see Kelly smirking).

And the truth is, I am a bit addicted to the instant gratification of sharing a piece of writing or a photo.  These things are fabulous and so inspiring, but I don't want that to be ALL there is for me.  I want something private, secret...something to unveil only after I've really crafted it, absorbed it, given time its time with it.

So here's my new thoughts.  Thanks to the ever inspiring Plume and also to my own mind, I have two projects in the works.  These are writing tasks, a journalistic canvas that I would like to commit to performing daily and want to tell you about it so you can a) ask me questions to keep me motivated and b) perhaps find some inspiration in your own neglected talents.

  Henceforth, for 30 minutes per day (however often I choose...3 days/week is what I'll start with) I will close all my open (computer) windows and focus only on these at a time.  I will not blog or scribble in my journal about how I broke yet another egg while poaching.  

Now kitty cats, I must be VERY precarious about self-discipline.  If I let my soul hear the word, it will rebel with a storm more damaging than El Nino. I must rename it, be gentle with myself, side-step the definition.   I am reminded of a quote Umber shared with me...that she actually saw via Red, but it says:

"As for discipline — it's important, but sort of overrated. The more important virtue for a writer, I believe, is self-forgiveness. Because your writing will always disappoint you. Your laziness will always disappoint you. [...] Continuing to write after that heartache of disappointment doesn't take only discipline, but also self-forgiveness." ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

I don't want to chain my gifts down and require them to produce on demand.
 I refuse.
But I do want to give them all the open space they need to breath their way into life.

So I'll just write.
And write and write and write.

I hope you'll read, but I suppose that's not really the point now...
is it?
This time, these 30 minutes...they are all for me.
And me alone.

Of course, I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.
Like NOW.

Off to write, 

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