random hump day musings.
- Ever notice how certain protein bars taste like dust? Bleck – this Luna Peanut Butter Cookie bar is filthy.
- Some secret little elf bought a beautiful black patent leather purse for me in the mail. Who are you??? J It’s just the perfect size, and was on my etsy wish list so THANKS! I feel so special (though I admit, I fear my ability to downsize).
- Despite this week’s vitamins, three bananas, and stretching, I woke up last night with a horrendous leg cramp. I am now walking around with this ball of pain in my left calf. Good thing I have a massage tonight. (thank god for insurance – oh the benefits of selling your soul to corporate America).
- Gone Baby Gone was better than I expected, but any film that puts ben affleck BEHIND a camera is destined for a greater outcome than if he were in front of a camera.
- Domino magazine was rather disappointing this month. Unless you have a guest bedroom where you can fit two twin beds or perhaps a huge lawn for outdoor patio furniture, this magazine was pretty irrelevant. I did scope this beautiful dress from an artist that I am considering writing the editor to ask the artist where she purchased said dress. But that’s about the only inspiration I got from the mag.
- I am excited to see Adam today. He is the closest cousin/brother we have.
- I spell like summer lately. New annoying handsoap has shea butter which reminds me of tanning oil, which reminds me of cheap straw hats and skin marks from plastic lounge chairs. This is annoying because I cannot be sitting in the sun with a wide brimmed hat, glass of rose, good book, and sound of ocean lapping at the shore. Damn soap.
- I almost journaled ON PAPER last night! I was feeling just so miserable, lonely, irritable, wounded, cranky, and lazy. As is normal for me, I didn’t feel motivated to do anything until about 10pm when I finally did the dishes, put away the laundry, straightened the house, and took a bath…but then I read myself to sleep and my book is getting interesting so that was a bright spot, but the beginning line of my journal entry was going to read, “I am just so miserable tonight.”
- And this morning? Oh, thanks for asking. I feel my neck hurting, my tea oversteaped, my luna bar dusty, and my eyes puffy from fatigue.
- Also, I hate doing expense reports.
What’s new with you?
I spent a lot of my time yesterday adding new quotes. Some of my favorite are scrolling on the page as we speak, but I will include them here for you too:
"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. " — Flannery O'Connor
"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. " — Virginia Woolf (A Room of One's Own)
"Dum spiro, spero. (Translation: As long as I breathe, I hope.)" — Latin Proverb
"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. " — Sylvia Plath
"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. " — G.K. Chesterton
"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." — Ray Bradbury
"If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need." — Marcus Tullius Cicero
"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." — Pablo Picasso
"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me." — C.S. Lewis
"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." — Ernest Hemingway
"Women are like teabags, you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water." — Eleanor Roosevelt
"Read in order to live." — Gustave Flaubert
and my personal favorite for this random posting:
"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them." — Lemony Snicket
As I walked around downtown on my lunch break, I had a thought.
“I could have a child, or I could have cute shoes.”
But I digress.
As I lounged into the soothing spa where I get my eyebrows (ahem) manicured, and this cute little esthetician buzzed about me in her meticulous hair-seeking manner, my mind drifted towards loftier thoughts - as it often does with meditative music, warm light, and prostration.
I got to thinking about the things every woman hates about herself. The nit-picky thing that our friends assure us we are i.n.s.a.n.e to believe and yet the things we simply cannot love about ourselves.
Then my esthetician sweetly moved my wispy, stringy, dull, lifeless bangs out of the way of my eyebrows. Perhaps you can guess what one thing I hate about myself might be.
Shall I list the ways? (bear with me, proving a point):
- Thin hair
- Big nose
- Big red mole on leg
- Thick legs and ankles
- Scar on nose
- Face too round
- Eyes too little
- Big hands
- Breasts too small and hips too big (aka. HELLO PEAR).
- Feet too big’
- Gross natural hair color
You get my point. These things I realize are ludicrous, but are the things I have poisoned myself with hating all these years.
So what if I applied the philosophy of self-love that I have been using on my insides to my help heal my OUTSIDES? I think what it means to love my thin hair is to just let it be thin – for me to stop doing millions of things to fight nature and just accept my thin hair. I know I can deal with it, and I think I wear it well – but I still really tragically miss the thick hair I am somehow entitled to.
you know. the hair that god freaking robbed me of. duh.
So I start loving my body like I have decided to love my thoughts and my art with the same motto, “I will love it because it’s mine,” then I believe that can help me start to love my perceived faults.
And wouldn’t you know it. The next time she brushed my hair from my forehead, I had the smallest twinge of affirmation for my hair.
Because it’s mine.
And I will love it. Lemme prove it to you.
I love my skin.
I love my eye color.
I love my lip shape.
I love my nail strength and shape.
I love my sholders.
I love my waist.
I love my how fine, blonde, and nonexistent my leg/arm hair is.
See?
i am such a little thief.
today, while perusing my latest inspiration (did you know she quit her full-time job b/c of blogging?!), i came across blurb. so yeah, what's the big deal...so you can use your own pictures to make a coffee table book? i am perusing the site, right...sipping my green tea and eating my banana, and then YES.
ahem. introducing, the blogger book. that's right. you can publish your blog into a BOOOOOOKLKKKKK(ling).
oh man, i think doing this once a year would be such a great way to chronicle my writing.
in other pilferings,
i am in the mood for summer dresses, despite the un-summery weather. though rain is pretty characteristic of june weather in this beautiful city and DAMN IT, I WON'T COMPLAIN.
i will ease my eyes with this dress: (and damn it, someone bought it yesterday!)
today is my last day before the craziness begins for the wedding this weekend. i am planning on deeply enjoying it by relaxing with my husband at home.
i am finally over the first steep hill of transitioning into this new home, and it really feels like a home more and more. it is so strange what happens when you begin to really invest in your home, saving money to buy really beautiful pieces, keeping things simple and uncluttered, and being intentional about the energy and beauty that your home oh-so-willingly can give back to you if you just pamper it for a while and refuse to put anything in your home that you don't love (which is why we still don't have any barstools. well, that and money.)
the living room should be done by next month, then moving on to the kitchen, then bedroom, then bathroom. so by 2009, i should have a killer home. wanna come over and see?
and the truth is...i am, for one of the first times in my life...really willing to wait for it.
