9 years

November 23, 2011 Candace Morris 8 Comments

At 6:00pm tonight, Joel and I will have been married for 9 years.  When this union took place, the technology available to us wasn't able to produce a slide show that included both music and photos.  As it happened, we pressed play simultaneously on both the pictures and the songs - how antiquated!  Because I've wanted to redo the slideshow in modern format for record keeping, I've now made a movie of our wedding slide show.  This was played at our reception, and I used all the same music and photos as I did then.  It is a bit long, but if you chose to sit through all 11 minutes of it, please enjoy.

Also, feel free to count how many different colors my hair was.  At age 18 - I dyed it dark brown.  19, 20 - blonde.  21-22, black. 23-24, some varying form of red with a blonde streak in front.  The slideshow stops there, but have subsequently varied between blonde and dark brown ever since. 

More importantly, I am looking forward to a decadent dinner out with Joel.  We usually go away in January when things are less chaotic, but it is still important for us to commemorate the day.  I am especially moved this year, after the tumult we've endured for the last while.  This may be sacrilegious to some, but I do not consider the institution of marriage to be a good enough reason to stay together anymore.  In the end, if you have to fall back on the haunches of a commitment made several version of yourself ago, I feel you aren't doing the psychological or soulful work necessary to keep intimacy, to keep alive.  This may be the incredible naive of someone married for less than a decade, but the only reason I see to continue in this marriage is because I want to be with Joel, institution or not.  We got married because of our desire to live life alongside each other, not because we needed some external and arbitrary rule to keep us bound if we no longer wanted to be.   I don't know, perhaps I will be grateful for commitment in the years to come.

All I know is now.  I think that's what I've learned these last 9 years.

I had to laugh when I realized that if we ever broke up, the first person I would walk to talk about it with would be none other than my Joel.  I'm going to take that as a sign.

Happy Anniversary, Joelio.

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