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Year in photos, 2016




Year in Photos 2016 by candace-morris

I usually publish this video slideshow of the year on New Year's Day. But this time, it took me a bit longer. I don't think that was an accident, either. I think the truth is that 2016 broke my heart in so many ways on so many levels, and I didn't want to go through the good stuff; I didn't want my mind to be changed; I just wanted 2016 to be the fuck over.

But every single time I create one of these slideshows, I relive every memory, every small moment that - when captured - seems insignificant. But set to music and bookmarked by many other small moments - each minute becomes so damn beautiful.

I'm so thankful to be alive. To have Joel and Bowie. To have a community of friends that I would die for. To have family who knows me. To have money for big and little things. To have freedom to shave my head if I want to.

So this is my peace offering to 2016. May she rest in peace.

crm
year in photos
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Year in Photos 2015: aka gratitude and red wine

Joel noticed that I hadn't created my normal end-of-year slideshow. The holidays took a lot out of me this year and didn't give back as fully as usual. That's fine - not every Holiday season can be totally filled with Christmas wonder. I think I am finally old enough to realize that - to realize that it's even good to have scrooge-y years.

I could have helped myself if only there'd been more down time, more introspection and reflection. But that would have meant saying 'no' to a lot of really fun things.

When I stayed home from a NYE party I really wanted to go to, I realized...I just couldn't handle one more fun thing.

And that included making my annual EOY slideshow. I usually make them for my own benefit, not thinking anyone would even miss it or notice.

So when Joel asked why I hadn't created the slideshow, he implored me, "You have to! I love those."

So I set to work. And wouldn't you know it, the nearly 20 hours required to put these slideshows together afforded time to reflect upon my year. An unexpected benefit.

As the photos of my life scrolled across my screen
As I fed my wanderlust with visions of my travels (a lot this year!)
As I relived the musical atmosphere that Joel curates for us so well every single year
As I touched again the faces of the souls whom I love beyond words,
I felt the deepest movement of gratitude.

Gratitude (and my red wine) brought me to tears. I have such a great life - my friends are irreplaceable and inspirational. My family, scattered, but fascinating, loving, and supportive. My travels - varied and made of unforgettable memories. My work - a soulful enabler of a soulful and generous lifestyle.

So I created another slideshow in their honor.
I do these to feel the scope of my vast year and all its feelings and faces
into 10 minutes.
An unjust treatment, no doubt.
But still.


Enjoy.

-crm
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Year in Photos: 2014

Though it's sometimes hard to recall immediately
or difficult to feel, in one moment,  the full weight of a trip around the big star,
I know the goodness of these past 365 days in all my knowing places.

I don't say 'goodness' as in lack of bad,
dark,
scary,
desperate,
confusing,
or sad.

I speak good using a definition as it resonates in me
whenever I speak of anything.
All the parts of it wrapped up
and then seeing it outside of itself.
Reflecting and re-framing.

And the goodness, in my way of thinking,
is defined as wholeness.

The package.
Shit and all.

I see as good.
But only at the end.

Oh how I crave the wisdom only the end can bring.
And how deeply I resent starting out,
cold and weak like a slippery child.
Incapable of anything but breathing.
And heart-pumping.
And wailing.
Maybe, if I am lucky one,
I'll learn to feed and thrive.

But this starting always, always has an end.
Be it morose or maudlin,
I find ultimate hope in the penultimate
end.



YIP 2014 by candacemorris


I hope this year's goodness sits well with you today.
crm
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