Showing posts with label nostalgia. Show all posts

The Story of a Mug




It looks like an ordinary plain ol' diner mug.  Actually, that's exactly what it is.  But for me, the matching set of heavy white porcelain mugs holds a story, one that attaches me to the mugs forever.

Things for things' sake is never my goal.  However, when things you own carry bits of your life story, stories you never wrote down or forgot to remember, then they are worth more than their own monetary value.  But when you pick up the book, mug, or vase - suddenly you are transported...standing frozen in the living room as your memory takes control of all motor functions.  Oh, I love that.

In college, my best friend Jackie and I would take road trips to Ashland, Oregon.  The Oregon Shakespeare Festival resides there, and it was only a 2.5-hour drive form Redding, California, where we went to school and shared an apartment.  In fact, we did this so many times, I've lost count.  My favorite time of year to travel to Ashland was during Fall.  Shakespeare cries for Autumn, and I answered that call as best I could.  How we as college students ever afforded the expensive tickets, gas, and food is beyond me.

I have a lingering suspicion that I owe Jackie a lot of money from that time in our friendship.  

We would be sure to arrive early to make a day of it. By 'a day of it,' I mean food.  FOOD.  We have had so many amazing meals, more and more decadent as our pocketbooks grew to adult sizes. 

A few times we even stayed the night in a modest hotel.  It was during one of these weekends that we walked cheerily into a diner on the main street.  I couldn't even tell you the name of it, much less recognize it if we went back.  It was relatively empty, which was fine by us. We may have still been a bit inebriated from our pre and mid-play wine. We were on a quest for dessert and coffee. 

Dessert and coffee is our thing.  I mean, aside from wine, dance parties, hot tubs, road trips, scorching summers, sneaking candied apples into plays, food fights, and hysterical laughter  - often about something not even remotely funny to others in attendance (we've endured many a sideways, albeit loving, look from her husband).  So, aside from all of those other things, dessert and coffee is our thing.

It was the perfect mug.  I begged to be ours.  It was the quintessential, vintage diner mug.  It was so heavy and had this slight hourglass curve to it, just the right size for your hand to slip through the handle and cuddle the heat of the entire mug (I've never seen Jacks hold a mug by its handle).  It also had the cutest little matching creamer.  We had to have them, and we said as much in between bites of bread pudding and chocolate cheesecake.  

Jackie said quietly, "Let's steal them."  I was shocked!  (You see, despite my surly demeanor, inside I am a rather huge weenie, bound and chained to societal rules and scared as hell of being caught.  However, Jackie has this devilish streak about her, which is just about the most surprising thing, since she is really good.  Like, really good inside.  But that girl, despite being so outwardly innocent-looking, sweet, kind, and shamelessly giving, is anything but insipid.  She has this secret underbelly that almost no one has access to - one of the great privledges of my life).

Despite my pusillanimity, I queried her on the logistics of the operation.  How would it work?  Would we pay for our meal and THEN sneak them into our backpack?  If I was going to be a criminal, I was going to be an organized one, damn-it. What's the plan?!

I don't remember Jackie's answers to these asks.  My guess is that she simply just asked the server about them.  Was the set for sale, and how much?  Though an obviously odd request, the server went into the back and then reappeared with the box containing two mugs and a creamer.  I am actually not even sure if we paid for them, or if she just gave them to us because we were so darn charming, AND because we followed the rules, I might point out.  Somewhere in the subsequent 15 years, we decided I would own the mugs, and Jackie would retain the little creamer.  



As I sip black coffee out of that mug this morning, and as I wait for Bowie's nap in order to call Jackie for our bimonthly chat, I think nostalgically, fondly, even weepily of that time in our lives.  I think I'll watch 'Much Ado about Nothing' tonight, perhaps even while sipping out of the almost-stolen mug.





craving


Though I do not wish to spend all my days in 80 degree sunshine, I am still a California girl by birth.  Right about this time of year, I can close my eyes and feel my hair whipping my face as I ride in my Mom's old '57 Chevy Station Wagon, windows down because there was no A/C.  She raised four kids single-handedly for 10 years and we were rather tight on money, but she seemed to make special outings happen.  I remember not only frequent trips to Disneyland, but also trips to Ventura beach.  We would leave at sunrise and all sleep in the car as she drove the 45min to the seaside, then spend all day swimming and sunning.  Lunches on that day, though nothing fancier than homemade PB&Js, a thermos of cold water, and nacho cheese Doritos, never tasted better.  Come sunset, with sand-filled swimsuits, we would climb back into Betsy and watch the golden light on the horizon and drift off to the sound of the wind drying our hair as we drove home.
Windows Down. 
Always Windows Down.

Later on as a teenager, my best friend Keri and I would take several trips, looking for trouble (we never found any, we were good girls afterall) and turning heads as much as possible, which is easy to do in a bikini while driving.  Her VW Bug was my ticket to freedom, and also didn't have A/C.
Thank God.

I'm going home to Southern California this weekend to see my Teresa and Clara, and I cannot tell you how much my skin aches for a drive like this. I've requested to see my ocean.

I love your salt-water soul,




The miss list

It seems I've had so many previous lives since college.  I have no regrets (I don't believe in them) and I wouldn't change a thing (to drop two cliches), but when I am feeling particularly nostalgic for a home that has nothing to do with a physical space, I start to hone in on that which I really loved about those previous lives.  It is my dream to say "I have truly lived" on my deathbed.

Today I miss
syliva loves the seaside
Sylvia

light
The spring evenings spent with my sister in San Diego last year

Poetry

sensory breathing
Hanging out with my books

elle écrit
Journaling

right where she was all along
Waiting to go to brunch when they all still lived here

Cafe Septieme
Writing Letters

 Clara
Looking over Clara's crib and seeing her smile at me

home is where the muffins are
Baking

like him with friends possessed
A dream


A comfortable chair

Joel working from home

A purpose
(a few of my former students, way back in the day)

Despite the angst, I admit that somewhere deep inside, it does feel good to miss.  If we didn't fully realize what we don't have, or didn't miss that which we once had, or didn't want something back that was snatched from our grasp, what would compel us to reach out and gobble up the love offered to us?  Without need, how can we know completion?  Without feeling empty, how could we know fulfillment?  Without desire, how can we know ecstasy?  

My soul has been on edge of late, and after taking several days to put it through the standard rigmarole of why this could be, I've decided that I have gone much too long without writing, reading, photographing, or really any other creative endeavorer (hell, even cooking).  My soul cannot survive a creatively stale life, and so I must tisk-tisk my finger at lazy practicality and determine to make my life once again about something more substantial than a plan to start making something.  It's time to do it.


spring homemaking

For the most part, I've adjusted rather well to full-time work with relatively little homesickness for my homemaking days.  But alas, that was winter.

And now it's spring.
Le Spring

And I am still happy with full-time work.  However, just in this last week, I've been hit hard with a full-blown nostalgia for my house...spending all day in it, cleaning it, arranging it, cooking in it, photographing it, writing in it, reading in it.  Since spring usually brings with its blooms a wake of "WAKE UP" and "LET'S MAKE SOMETHING!" it's been hard to channel that energy while not at home.  

I'm sure I'll find a way, but in the meantime, I must say:

Spring 2011
Damn. It's gorgeous out.

blackberries

And there is so much goodness at my fingertips.


I am learning to close doors
so I can fly with grace and beauty through the new windows
thrown agape
that lead to the wide open spaces.