Showing posts with label morning. Show all posts

Most Mornings




A least a few moments each morning are spent in this alcove of the house.  I usually write a few pages in my journal and Bowie is usually content to play with her toys and practice her sitting up, her cooing, and her fine motor skills.

A lovely, lovely few moments,
most mornings.
bowie andromeda journaling morning
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2013 Resolutions

It's a bit late, I realize.  However, I feel obliged to my record-keeping self to evaluate last year's resolutions and present this year's.

2012 Resolutions:
2012 Resolutions

Of the 10 items listed above, I can proudly claim 3 as complete.  This is a stark drop from the 2011 Resolutions, of which I completed 11/17.  I am unsure why I didn't write "Gestate" on the goals, or perhaps something I knew would be a momentous achievement, you know something like PUSH A BABY THROUGH MY VAGINA!  Oh well.  Sometimes we can be unfair to ourselves, setting life up to fail.  This year, I promise to be more realistic.  I have learned a good lesson about lists as it is, being a new mom.  They have to be more flexible and I have to let it go.  That being said, I still receive a disgusting amount of peace and happiness from arranging my to-dos on paper.

COMPLETE:
I did see Radiohead (which, let's be honest, does this count as a resolution?  I already had the tickets when I made this list.  Too easy, crm.  Too easy.).
I did plant a few flowers this spring, a sweet little window box adorned the kitchen for a time.
I did visit CA family more than I had done the year before.

MEDIUM COMPLETE:
For several months early in the year (the expected duration of most resolutions), I was reading and writing letters on Sunday Morning.  Some proof even exists.

FAIL COMPLETE:
I completely forgot to practice meditation.
I most certainly did not live with less (since pregnancy requires new clothing)
Not only did I not save 3-months of our salaries, I failed to retain a job.
No breakfast nook.
I don't even know where my copy of "TBK" lives.
The chair is Joel's project.

I feel no sense of failure.  In fact, I find these items quite amusing.

But enough of that.  Onward!  Out with the old! In with the new! Champagne!
I am quite pleased with these goals.  I feel they are kinder to myself and certainly more realistic.

-Drink 32oz of water before morning coffee/tea:
I have noticed that my problematic neck becomes even more painful with coffee and booze.  This can often be counteracted if I drink water beforehand.  I want to make it a more permanent practice.  In fact, as I write this, my mason jar of water sits contentedly empty as I sip my coffee.

-Protect sacred morning quiet:
From the star, I think you'll see the obvious prioritization of this item.  Since Bowie is her most calm and happy in the mornings, she can entertain herself somewhat quietly while she watches mom journal.  (Incidentally, this also fulfills one of my recent observations that Bowie is going to get her picture of what a mom/wife does by watching me.  It want this picture to contain images of soul-work in addition to chores.  I've therefore made a concerted effort to have her observe me journaling, reading, listening to Rachmaninoff  etc, as well as doing the dishes, making dinner, folding laundry, etc).  Any-who, I have found that protecting even just 30 min of quiet first thing greatly eases my anxiety throughout the rest of the day.  I don't check my email or my phone or computer.  I either journal or read or meditate, and I resist the strong urge to fuss about the house tidying.

-Get back to yoga:
I went to yoga classes all throughout the pregnancy, and I really miss it now.  I need to prioritize my class, and it's extremely difficult with our schedules.  Maybe I can also work it in at home.

-No screens in bed:
I recently read an article about sleep, and apparently in order to assist restorative sleep, the human eye needs to not look at a screen for 1-hour prior.  We always get into bed and screen ourselves, where once I used to simply read a book.  I will try to get back to this practice.

-Personal education:
This is a response to feeling the emptiness of mental stimulation as I stay home with Bowie.  I have organized a self-directed study in Women's Studies which I am extremely excited about.  My Christian education didn't really prepare me for this - as you may or may not know, 'feminism' is a dirty dirty word in that realm.  I'm extremely ready to deconstruct this. (I may have used the word extremely a few times here.  Note emphasis),

In the last two years, I've also become fascinated by science and the cosmos.  In this fascination, I have also discovered a shameful gap in my knowledge.  I am therefore desirous to do another self-directed (by Joel) course in the cosmos.  This will happen initially by viewing 'Cosmos' by Carl Sagan, as well as continuing to read this very fascinating book. I am sure this beginning will lead me to other scientists and research projects.


Be resolute, my fellow sojourners.
crm
carl sagan feminism morning
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if you lived with me...

...then you might notice two of my following habits...and since I am feeling confessional today, I thought I would reveal them here.
Morning
ONE:
I've begun this (I think) good habit of refusing to turn on my computer in the morning until after I've sat in quiet.  My house may not be quiet, but internally - I try to quiet myself.  This may include a pensive cup of coffee while staring out at the cedars, but it almost always includes journaling and reading.  Perhaps it's a lingering desire from my more religious days ("quiet time"), but  I find that without this sacred space, I am quite anxious and unfocused throughout the day.  This morning, I sat with the most delicious cup of Ethiopian coffee and read a few excerpts of Dillard...from both Pilgrim at Tinker Creek (my favorite chapter "Seeing") and A Writing Life.  I also journaled and had Carson and Rilke at the ready.  It is no formula for a good day, as even now - I still feel anxious to begin the day.  But I believe it to be a soulful practice.

Bobby Pins

TWO:
I have this horrible (though Joel calls it endearing) habit of leaving bobby pins in my wake.  Joel has found them in bed even...and I don't go to bed with bobby pins in my hair, so I have no idea how they get there.

Afternoon Sun
Hold
Lying Around
If you lived with me, you might also notice that every afternoon, I get down on the floor and play with Clara.  I make sure to stick my feet in the warm light streaming through the windows.  I find a great release in simply lying on the floor, playing, daydreaming, watching my niece discover movement and shapes.

What would I notice if I lived with you?
Do share if you dare...
books clara family
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