Friends that admire how little I've changed, I've lied. I am doing Mom things. I submit the following list as evidence:
- I have used my saliva to clean dried breast-milk off her face.
- I have placed my finger under her nostrils to test for breathing.
- I have nervously handed my baby to unwashed hands.
- I have severely judged mothers who complained about not getting a shower in.
- I've been called away from a hot bath by a screaming baby, only to return to cold water.
- I've put my shirt on inside-out without noticing.
- I've have a hard time posting status updates about anything but Bowie.
- I've been unable to sneak in a phone chat with my best friend for AN ENTIRE MONTH.
- I've drank 2nd-day old coffee, cold as ice.
- I've anxiously asked Joel to roll up his car window about 100 times, thinking she's cold.
Except when I pick up Bowie and kiss her cheek. That's nice.
Instead of being a too-tight suit, maybe motherhood could be a nice blouse. It can compliment my existing wardrobe, but not be too loud or overpower the outfit.